Saying I love you was never so easy
by I'mnotanecropheliac
Summary: I say six months because that’s the first time I took her to an actual dinner, that was the first time I kissed her. I say six months because I’ve loved her for so much longer.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own them.

Author's note: Not really a new story. Way old now posting. If you hate I laugh. I like so meh!

"Josh just be patient," she told him while pacing the living room.

"I am being patient," he smiled arrogantly from the couch. "You're the one who can't stop pacing the room."

She glared at him and continued to take each step in vigorous panic. Every three seconds she looked into her hands, ready to shout in disbelief.

"Donna just stay calm."

"Josh."

"Yeah?"

"Shut Up."

"Kay," he said with a grin.

There as a terrible pause. Only Donna's pacing feet could be heard. Josh sat obediently with his hands resting on his lap. He stared at Donna with a sly grin, holding back laughter.

"You don't..."

"I knew it," she said throwing her hands in the air. "You couldn't stay quiet. You couldn't do it could you?"

Josh smiled, meeting her eyes but ignoring their angered glare. "You don't think it would be great?"

"Josh!"

"What? It would be amazing," he told her.

"I can't believe you," she told him waving her hands and pointing her finger straight at his face. "It would be a disaster. You know that. I know that. That's why you told me not to tell anyone. That's why we didn't." She looked at his face, and the arrogant grin pushed her further. "Do you think this is funny? I can't believe you. God can't you see how serious this is."

"I think it would be amazing," he said defiantly adjusting himself so her eyes didn't pierce him mortally.

She paced the room barely looking at him, shaking her head. "You are absolutely insane."

Before Josh could manage any form of response a sharp buzz erupted in the room. He sat perfectly still while Donna looked into her hands for the last time.

A pause progressed wherein neither moved.

"Well?" Josh finally asked.

She stared at him a genuine smile on her face. "I guess we're pregnant."

They normally tried to avoid walking in together. That morning neither took care to notice it. They walked beside each other absorbed in their own defining thought. Josh was smiling and glowing with pride. Donna had never looked more stunned in her life.

They had been silent since the night before. Words would have only ruined the moment. Josh would have begged to tell everyone as soon as he burst into the West Wing. Donna would have yelled at him for assuming everything would be fine. Neither had spoken, they had barely even looked at each other.

"When can I start telling people?" Josh whispered as they entered the lobby.

She stared at him in disbelief and horror. "Josh!" she uttered in a loud tone.

They reached his office and she followed him inside.

"You haven't thought this through," she warned him.

Josh tilted his head and stared at her curiously. "There doesn't seem that much to think through. At least not now..."

"Josh you're not yourself," she begged. "You have to stop and think this through."

"Think what through?" came the familiar and friendly voice standing at the door.

"Hey what's up?" Josh asked, deciding to avoid both comments. He shifted his eyes from Donna, trying his best not to look as though he did it purposefully.

"There's going to be a story today," C.J. told him.

Donna sensed they wanted the room and she knew she couldn't continue her conversation with C.J. around. She began to walk towards the door, while holding Josh in her eyesight. As soon as she moved she caught his eyes.

"If you say anything," she warned him pointing her finger in due force of a threat. "I'll kill you."

"What was that about?" C.J. asked, as Donna slid past her.

Donna ignored her and dashed for her desk. C.J. stared at Josh hoping to get some kind of answer from him.

Josh only shrugged, but smiled with an eager grin. "I'd tell you," he told her truthfully. "But she'd kill me."

C.J. stared at him in awe. She shrugged herself back to reality.

"There's going to be a story about Carole Young today," C.J. told him.

"Who's Carole Young and why should I care?"

"Carole Young," she began, "was one of our biggest supporters. She donated money, set up rallies..."

"And?" Josh asked her looking at several of the notes in his hands.

"And her focus has shifted in the past few months. She's well let's just say she's not going to be supporting the President this time around."

"What..."

C.J. revealed in a single motion a white sheet in her hands. "Elections have become more and more about settling. President Bartlet has done little more than shift party lines at convenience. He has settled with the left wing when he can win and has compromised with the right to look good. I guess if the President of the United States can concede his morals and point of view he's telling the American people they should too.

"She doesn't rant violently or anything. She slid it in quite nicely between her hair and mandatory minimums. But this is what the stories will be reporting," C.J. told him.

"And?"

C.J. just sighed. "Is it just me or is this going to be a lot harder?"

"It's not you," Josh told her, trying not to feel guilty as he said it. "Have you talked to Toby?" He defiantly didn't need anything on his desk this week that didn't need to be there.

"Yeah," C.J. said. "You can imagine his reaction." She smiled and gave a soft laugh, turning around and heading to her office. "He said not to worry. He has it covered."

She vanished down the hall giving a side-glance to Donna, who was staring a little too intensely on the blank computer screen in front of her.

Josh sat and smiled to himself. God he felt good. Nothing not even Carole Young could bring him down. Several obvious problems should have been rushing through his mind. _No one knows we're together. They're going to kill me. I'm going to lose my job. Donna is going to lose her job! _He barely even acknowledged the fact that no one else was in a very good mood that week.

"Donna!" he yelled.

Suddenly Donna appeared at the door. "Do you need something?"

"Come in here," he said waving her inside. She stood still, holding her stance, nearly returning to her desk. "Donna!"

Reluctantly she obeyed and walked inside.

"Close the door."

She cautiously closed the door, looking at the floor, holding her head down. This wasn't something she wanted to talk about. It was barely a reality.

"When can I tell them?" he asked.

"Josh!"

"Donna come on we can't wait forever," Josh told her. "I mean... well..."

She looked at him with raging eyes. "You're the one who said we shouldn't tell anyone. It's been two months Josh," she told him with a soft tone. "If we've waited this long you can wait a little longer."

"It's been more like six months," Josh bantered.

"Josh!"

Josh only sighed.

She sat down across from him. She placed her elbows on the edge of his desk and braced her head in her hands. She let out a deep breath. "Josh I feel so amazingly stupid."

"Why?" he asked concerned.

"It's not like we've been lying to just anyone," she told him. "They're not just friends, even if they were _just_ friends it wouldn't make it right." She paused holding in a sob. "But they're important people. It's the President Josh," she cried as though he didn't know that. "And Leo. And well... you just haven't thought about what kind of affects this is going to have on them. It's not just about us anymore," she sighed softly and felt the tears warming her eyes. "We just have to think this through."

He walked over to her and rested his hand softly on the back of her head. He stroked her hair and tried to sooth her. "Donna I know this may seem hard to believe. But I couldn't care less what they think."

She turned her head and looked at him. "Josh, you'll lose your job. You're reputation. What you do is a reflection of this office, of the President." She turned her eyes and stared at her feet. "I just don't think you've thought this through."

Josh began to sigh a response but Donna rose quickly.

"You have senior staff," she mumbled and walked out. She wiped her eyes and opened the door. Braving what would certainly be a very long day.

Josh sat down, and wryly looked at the piles of paper on his desk. The papers and folders seemed meaningless. Everything did. He was going to be a father.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I own not these beautiful creators.

Author's note: I love. Me love. Me like. Love me.

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Josh lived in a world of fanatical delight. He couldn't help but believe how amazing he felt. The problems of the White House seemed obsolete. The entire time he worked, all he could think about were the things he wasn't allowed to say.

For a few days he and Donna were barely talking but they both figured the other was right. A silence was the only thing they could manage. A soft nothingness resigned keeping enough space between them to stop the screaming.

Needless to say their silence was heard throughout the White House. Feet tiptoed around them and there was an unconscious agreement among the staff to say nothing of it.

By the time Wednesday rolled around someone had to break the silence. If it wasn't one of them it would be a staffer and then they would just implode.

"Donna?" Josh said after coming back from a meeting. "Can I bother you for a moment?"

Donna looked up at him and followed him into the office. He closed the door behind her and motioned her to sit down.

"I feel like I'm being brought into the principal's office," Donna said with a hidden smirk.

Josh looked at her with a little enthusiasm.

"Donna," he began slowly. "We..."

"Oh give it a rest," Donna began standing up and pacing the room. "I'm going to go to the doctor's on Friday. We'll tell people after that."

"Doctor?" his voice squeaked.

"Yes Josh," Donna began slowly explaining it to him in the only tone she could exact. "You remember the nausea…the insomnia…and I really don't want you to tell everyone and then find out I'm not actually..." she paused.

"Pregnant. God Donna," Josh told her a little too loudly.

"Josh!" Donna cried in a whisper.

"You can say the word."

"I have no problem saying the word. Just as long as I don't accidentally say it in earshot of anyone who might tell my boss," she began.

"Donna I'm your boss," Josh told her.

"God you think I didn't know that!" she yelled loud enough for anyone in the West Wing to hear. "I'm surprised you've figured that out. That's what the problem is."

Josh stared at her with his head tilted and a grand smirk on his face. "You're beautiful when you're crazy."

Donna wanted to throw something at him. Instead she turned on her feet.

"Donna we weren't really finished," Josh remarked as she turned to open the door.

She turned around with her eyes sharpened with seriousness. "I think we were." Then she began to open the door. Sam was suddenly standing in front of her.

"Sorry," Sam said and moved out of her way.

She smiled and went to her own desk.

Sam looked at Josh. "What the hell was that?"

Josh looked frustrated; he was harboring a sense of seriousness. "Nothing," he shrugged it off.

Sam looked at him curiously. "For some reason I find that hard to believe."

Josh ignored him outright. "What do you need?" he asked harshly.

"Whoa no need to get angry," Sam began.

"Sorry," Josh apologized just as harshly and sarcastically.

Sam smiled but inquired no more into his friend's affairs. "I just have an extra ticket to the game on Friday."

"Which game?" Josh asked passively, as he rose.

"Josh," Sam exclaimed. "The baseball game. The one you haven't been able to shut up about for the past three weeks."

"Oh," Josh merely said still not exactly sure what game Sam was talking about.

"Do you want to come?"

Josh's head spurted up finally realizing what Sam was asking. He looked at him squarely in the eyes. He couldn't think of any good reason not to go, except for well...the one he wasn't supposed to tell him about.

"I can't," Josh said, heading for the door.

"What!"

"I have...," he stopped not thinking of any good reason. He ignored Sam for a moment. "Donna do you want some lunch?" he asked in a tone of affection, which only barely covered up his disappointment.

Sam stopped in his steps. Before Donna could answer. "Wait... you're getting _Donna_ lunch? What's going on?"

Both of them stared, blankly. Donna shrugged it off and turned to Josh.

"If they have any bacon... and chocolate..." she remarked barely noticing the oddity of her request.

"Bacon and chocolate?" Josh asked skeptically.

Sam looked at Donna, "Are you alright?"

Donna smiled but didn't answer.

Suddenly Josh felt as though it was the exact moment to seek revenge. "Donna I'll be right back. Can you tell Sam why I can't go to the game on Friday?"

"But you can…" Donna began.

"This Friday," Josh said sternly with a tone that brought her mind back to reality of their own little world.

"Oh." She sat, not sure if she could trust herself to say more.

Josh ran out and down to the mess, leaving Sam staring at Donna while she tried to think of a logical excuse.

That night around three, Donna drove to Josh's apartment. She normally went to Josh's apartment straight after work. Routine had taken over them and they stopped seeking the oddity of the situation and embraced it. Donna hadn't gone that night. She had to work some things out, vent her anger.

She rang his buzzer, several times. She waited, rather impatiently for Josh to respond.

"Who is it?" his voice came over the intercom.

"It's me," she answered back, trying to hide her rage.

He let her in. She went straight to his apartment and knocked.

He opened the door a little startled. "You didn't have to knock."

She walked right passed him and threw her jacket on the couch. He knew obviously that this wasn't going to be a night of "making up". He was pretty sure he was about to have an argument.

"We need to talk," she said in a low voice, eyes glaring.

He closed the door and walked passed her to the kitchen. "Okay."

"Why the_ hell_ did you do that?" she screamed.

Josh started to make coffee. "Do what?"

"You left me there standing with Sam," Donna yelled. "Why the _hell _would you do that?"

"Oh that," he remarked. "Yeah, sorry."

"Sorry!" she screamed. "Sorry! That's all you can say."

"Donna," he whined.

"Don't you even start with me Josh," she continued. "If this is going to be a reality you have to be less of a jackass."

"Agreed," he said walking back to the couch and sitting down. She stayed standing, eyes still glaring. "And I concede that you were right about the other things but I think I was right too."

"I was right about what _things_?" she asked still frustrated.

"Everything," he said calmly.

"Fine," she huffed.

There was a silence. She let her body fall onto the couch. She didn't look at him, couldn't look at him.

"Is this really happening?" she asked, her voice revealing how scared she felt.

"Yeah," he sighed.

"This shouldn't be happening," she said allowed.

"I know," he answered her, just as scared.

"By the way," she said turning to him. "Sam thinks you have a hot date on Friday, and the reason you didn't want to tell him is because it's a man."

"Donna," he whined.

She laughed. "Hey, I figured you left me there… why shouldn't I have my fun?"

He reached over and grabbed her hand. "I know you're scared."

She didn't answer just sat still waiting for him to finish.

"I'm scared too," he confessed.

She let of a sigh. "I know."

"But I'm also excited," he told her.

She squeezed his hand. "If I wasn't so freaked I'd be excited too."

He squeezed her hand back. "I know."

"C.J. is going to kill us," she sighed.

"C.J. would never hurt a pregnant woman," Josh reassured her in an amused tone. "And she can't kill me. I'm going to be a father."

She didn't answer. He had meant to lighten the mood, but he had only made her all the more shocked. He was going to be a father. She was going to be a mother.

She moved herself rising from the couch. "I should go."

"I made coffee," he protested.

She smiled. "I have to go to bed."

"I have a bed," he told her willingly.

She tilted her head. "That's how this whole thing got started."

He smiled and rose to stand with her. "Don't go."

She let out a deep breathe. She took her hand and placed it on his cheek. "How did we get here?"

He stepped in and kissed her. She surrendered herself to him. A soft kiss, a hard kiss, a lover's kiss. Reluctantly he pulled away from her.

"We feel in love," he answered her.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I own not the creations of the thing with the magic I so love.

Author's Note: I love that you love it. Love more.

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She came back late Friday afternoon. Her mind wandering so much she ran into someone on her way through the lobby.

"Sorry," she managed, as she carried on through to the bullpen.

She hung up her coat and sat down directly at her desk. She felt odd, happy almost. She smiled to herself as she ran through the messages in front of her.

Suddenly C.J. was hunched over looking at Donna intensely. The staff had been trying to figure out what was wrong all week. C.J. stared at her pryingly.

"I don't get it Donna," C.J. said with an air of humor. "You spent all week being irate, and distracted but well now... now you're glowing."

Donna couldn't help but smile widely. She backed away from C.J. and riffled through some files on the opposing cabinet.

"I guess I'm just happy to be alive," she told her lightly.

C.J. continued her stare. "Not that that is a bad reason but there has to be something else. What aren't you telling me?"

Donna didn't say anything but pulled out a paper and went back to her chair. "Did you need something C.J.?"

"Is Josh in?"

Donna looked at her watch. "He should be back soon."

"Alright," C.J. said walking towards her office. "But I'm not done with you," she remarked pointing her finger accusingly.

Donna softly laughed and smiled deeply. Just as C.J. turned to go back down the hall Josh stormed through the doorway at high speed.

He walked straight over to Donna. "Donna!" his voice rang.

He was sorely interrupted by C.J.'s impending murmur. "Josh I need to talk to you."

Josh looked up at her with a look of pure insanity. He was too distracted to recall who she was. He barely understood what she had said.

"Josh," Donna said trying her best to pull him back. His head quickly turned and to look at her. "Don't worry… talk to C.J. It can wait."

Josh stared at her and for a brief moment didn't move. When the words finally hit him he only managed a nod.

C.J. found it hard for her feet to move, her mind still fixated on the bizarre scene she had witnessed the bullpen. Finally she managed to follow Josh into his office wherein she shut the door.

"What's up?"

"It's Carole Young again," she began.

"You've got to be kidding me," he began flexing his strength trying hard not to scream. _Who gives a damn about Carole Young?_

C.J. nodded. "It's still not a hush problem, but she's let out another statement."

"What's she..."

C.J. began to read off the paper in her hands. "President Bartlet's not keeping his promises. Millions of Americans are still waiting for the day to come when their needs shall be meet and the promises made to them fulfilled."

"Well that's not so bad…"

"That is why," C.J. continued. "There should be further investigation into the President and his administration. Who knows what he keeps behind closed doors. He has already demonstrated his skills at lying. There is no question that should go unanswered. We already know the President has deceived the public, we just don't know how often."

"Right well," Josh said, nodding his head. "What did Toby say?"

"He said nor to worry," she answered him shortly.

"Then don't worry about it," Josh told her honestly.

"Josh!" C.J. yelled. Then seeing his face turn from mild recollection to complete misapprehension. "Forget it. Obviously you won't be much help here." She turned to leave.

"C.J. I..." Josh began.

C.J. turned and glared at him. "We've got it covered."

Josh thought about starting up again but C.J.'s tone was too sharp and serious to ignore. Plus he really couldn't care less about Carole Young, so he probably _wouldn't_ be much help.

C.J. stormed back down the hall making heads turn. Donna sat at her desk, looking through her research trying her best to avoid Josh's office.

"Donna?" came a timbered cry.

She barely turned around seconds before the phone rang. "Hello?"

Josh was standing behind her. He stood braced against the cubicle frame.

"Leo needs you," she told him as she hung up.

Josh didn't move he just kept staring. "Donna I..."

"Josh go to Leo's office," she said getting up ready to push him through the halls.

He began to walk and she took up step beside him. For a moment there was silence between them.

"Donna when..."

She hit him with the folders in her hands. "This isn't something we are going to discuss while walking through the halls."

By the time they reached Leo's office Josh was facing his defeat. "Please tell me something," he pleaded looking ready to fall unto his knees in front of Margaret.

She smiled and placed her finger underneath his chin. "They'll all know soon enough." She turned aimlessly around leaving him to contemplate her meaning.

Margaret stared at him.

"Hi," Josh said and walked into Leo's office, avoiding her eyes.

He tried his best to hide his grin. He was pretty sure he knew what Donna had meant. Then again he'd never been very sure what Donna meant.

"Why the hell are you so happy?" Leo asked him.

Josh sobered up and stared at Leo with the sternest face he could manage. "Happy who me?" Josh tried to ask in a serious tone.

Leo barely hid his smile. "What's going on?"

"I..."

"Because you've been acting weird all week."

Josh didn't know what to say. "Did you ask me to come here so you could harass me?"

"No," Leo chuckled. "I need you to go to a meeting with Senator Kyles."

"Why?"

"We need his support for the ISA Bill," Leo told him.

Josh stared at him in disbelief. "The ISA Bill? Why would we go to Kyles? He... well he hates us... and I'm pretty sure we hate him too..."

"Yes Josh he does and we do," Leo said taking a seat at his desk. "But he supported the Bill until about three hours ago."

"So forget him."

"I would gladly," Leo began as he turned through the notes on the edge of his desk. "But he carries eight of the votes."

"What happened..."

"I don't know," Leo told him. Leo looked at the glossy eyed Josh. "You can do this can't you?"

"Yeah," a dazed Josh informed him. "Is that all?"

"No," Leo said with a glossy smile. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

Josh stared. "What are you talking about?" Josh asked in a tone that reciprocated his guilt.

"Josh?"

"Nothing," Josh lied. "There's just... I don't think I can tell you right now."

"You can't tell me?"

"Yeah."

"You know before I was just joking with you but now... well now I'm a little worried," Leo told him.

"Yeah," Josh said standing still in the middle of the room. "When's the meeting?"

"Today at four," Leo told him. "You sure you can do this?"

"Leo it's my job. It's what I do," Josh said as he began to back away to the hallway door. "I'm going now."

"Yeah," Leo said looking at the papers on his desk.

Josh ran down the halls and through the Lobby to his office. When he saw Donna at her desk he grabbed her by the arm and dragged her into his office.

"Josh!" she whined as he closed the door.

He only stared at her. Slowly he walked up close to her and held her softly by the shoulders. "So?" he asked.

Donna opened her mouth to speak but before she could let the words out a knock came to the door.

"You have got to be kidding me," Josh sighed. Donna stepped away from him and opened the door.

She walked past Toby and went back to her desk.

"What do you want?" Josh asked seriously thinking of slamming the door in his face.

Toby stared at him for a moment the tone of his voice one that he rarely faced. "Did you hear about Kyles?"

Josh spun around to sit at his desk. "I have a meeting with him at four."

"Josh?" Toby began. "You're not going to screw this up are you, because you've been out of it all week? Yesterday you practically insulted the Agricultural Committee out of the building..."

"Why does everyone keep asking me that?" Josh began. "I will not screw it up. I can do my job."

"Yeah," Toby began. "You've just seemed more stressed than usually. And please don't mistake this for me caring, I would just rather not have to deal with the Deputy Chief of Staff imploding on my watch."

"Yeah," Josh responded picking up a folder on his desk.

Toby stood in the doorway and gruffly sighed after realizing Josh wasn't going to continue the conversation. He left silently and went back towards the Communications Office.

"Donna?" Josh yelled, his frustration with the day building up.

She didn't come.

"Donna!" He stepped out of his office only to find that she had disappeared from her desk.

He went back into his office and riffled through his folders trying to find information on the ISA Bill. As greatly as he had emphasized his capability to perform the task at hand he had forgotten to tell Leo that he had no idea what the ISA Bill was.

Donna was in the bathroom. Her head hung over the toilet as she tried to catch her breath. She'd been sick for three weeks; she amazed herself by not logically thinking why.

_Morning sickness? _she thought to herself. _They should call it morning, noon, and night sickness._

When she eventually regained control of her body she sat down on the bathroom floor, holding herself in a tightly knit hug.

_God,_ she thought to herself. _I can't believe I'm doing this._

She lifted herself from the floor as she heard the voices of Bonnie and Ginger enter the room. She didn't know what to do. She felt overwhelmed, like balling right there.

_Get a hold of yourself,_ she silently screamed.

She exited the stale and mockingly washed her hands.

"Hey Donna," Ginger cried. "How have you been? We haven't seen you much this week."

Donna had pretty much lived in her own world all week. But for the telephone encounters and people stopping by the office she had pretty well avoided everyone. She hadn't thought they would notice.

"I'm great," she lied, hoping there wasn't any evidence of her recent exertion somewhere on her face or her clothes. "Just been busy I guess."

She quickly left them before they could make any more inquiries. She returned to the bullpen, starting to feel sick once again. She reached into her purse and took out a small bottle of pills. She stared at it skeptically before opening it and popping a pill.

"Hey Donna," a voice suddenly remarked above her shoulder. "What's that?"

She hastily tried to put it away. "It's just some pills for... uh... nothing."

Sam gave a quiet chuckle. "There's been a lot of that going around Josh's office."

"A lot of what?"

"Nothing."

Donna playfully smiled at him daring to show her annoyance but hiding her frustration.

Sam took note of her expression. "Can I see him?" he waved over to Josh's office.

"Go ahead but I'm not sure he's in," she muttered softly.

"Wait," Sam stopped in his steps. "You're not sure he's in?" he repeated. "Well now I know I've entered an alternate reality."

Sam walked in to see Josh rifling through a large pile of papers, most obviously lost and disorganized.

"Josh!"

"Yeah?" came the returning cry as his head jumped up from the papers.

"Are you meeting with Kyles today?"

"You didn't come here to harass me did you?"

"No," Sam said surprised, a little taken a back.

"Because Leo and Toby have covered that," Josh directed him, pushing his chair back and standing. "I do know what I am doing. And a little more stress than per-usual isn't going to distract me from this."

"A little more stress?" Sam asked with keen interest.

Josh stopped realizing what he had just said. "Never mind."

"Right," Sam began. "Shouldn't Donna be helping you in here?" Sam asked directing his attention to the piles of disheveled work on his desk.

"I haven't seen her for half an hour," Josh began.

"She's at her desk," Sam remarked quietly.

"What?" Josh asked then began his spurt for the bullpen. "Wait here," he motioned to Sam.

When he saw Donna at her desk he felt a rampage of frustration overcome him. "Donna!" he said loudly. "Where were you?"

She wasn't exactly sure how to answer him. If they had been in closed doors she might have told him she had been throwing up for the past twenty minutes, but out where everyone could hear her she didn't know how to respond.

Josh saw the look she had and his emotions immediately changed. "I need..." he began tenderly.

"Information on ISA," she finished handing him a folder.

"Could I also get…"

"Information on Senator Kyles," she added handing him a second folder. "Anything else?" she asked knowing very well what he wanted to ask.

"How do you do that?" Josh asked with a smile taking the folders.

She smiled back, "I'm attuned to you."

He looked at her with a dimpled smile. He remarked slowly after a short pause. "Sam's in my office." He was gazing at her.

"I know," she told him. She desperately wanted to tell him something. She knew there had to be the slightest of words she could utter that would ease his frustration.

"I just wanted to say…"

Suddenly Sam's head popped through Josh's doorway. "Did you need something Josh?"

Donna and Josh stopped looking at each other for a moment and gaped at Sam.

"Yeah," Josh broke the silence. He walked back into the office. "I can trust you right Sam. If I tell you something you won't tattle-tell to Leo or Toby?"

"Tattle-tell?" Sam asked sarcastically.

Josh tilted his head. "You're not going to run and tell on me. You'll help me, closed-lid."

"I'm your man," Sam said mockingly.

"Right well... You know a lot about the ISA Bill right?"

"I know many things about it," Sam began. "You might even call me an expert."

"Good," Josh said with a smile. "Then you can help me right?"

"Josh?"

"Let's just say when I spoke with Leo telling him I knew exactly what I was doing and there was no possible way I could screw this up."

"Yeah?"

"I may have been overstating it a little."

"Overstating?"

"Yeah I'm pretty sure I know next to nothing about this Bill," Josh said to Sam's utter horror. "And I might add I have only a vague recollection of Kyles."

"Didn't you work on the ISA Bill?"

"I don't really remember," Josh told him honestly, trying his best to mask that he was trying very hard to recall if he had.

"Okay," Sam said as he began pacing. "Okay this is fine. When's your meeting?"

"At four," Josh told him.

"That leaves us two hours," Sam began. "You're screwed!" he shouted.

"Thanks for your vote of confidence," Josh said sarcastically. "Seriously are you going to help?"

"Yeah alright," Sam said sitting down.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I own not.

Author's Note: I want to say that I love you people even though I am tried and should just roll over and die. So enjoy… or don't whatever you want.

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Josh was pulled into the meeting before he had any time to talk with Donna. There was still the lingering thought in the back of his mind, waiting to explode. He faithfully waited though, and spoke with the Senator with due ease and grace.

He wasn't working at his best but he was still above par. For anything in the world he would have given up on politics just to speak with Donna. But he waited patiently. Sam had started the meeting with them, feeling greatly that Josh was going to screw it up, but in Josh's current state was very scared to say so. He left after about twenty minutes when he realized the argument had nothing to do with the Bill and Senator Kyles was just being an ass. It was Josh's field, the negotiation, not the ass. For hours Josh tried to reason with a man who had no morals and wanted everything for nothing.

Josh sat diligently, hoping above hope that he wouldn't burst into bouts of anger and scream at the man. With Donna always at the back of his mind he continued to work.

Donna worked through the day with ease. She caught herself humming tunes a few times. Her spirits were uplifted even if physically she felt like dying.

"Hey," came C.J.'s voice from around the corner. "Is Josh in?"

"He's with Kyles," Donna told her.

C.J. glared at her. "Seriously Donna what's happened to you?"

Donna didn't know what to say. She felt terrible. But C.J. had meant it as a good thing. She was still terrified, worried and scared. But C.J. didn't seem to know those things. To C.J. she looked like she was glowing.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing," Donna began, sure Josh would kill her if she did say anything. "I just..."

"You meet someone didn't you?" C.J. began filling in the blanks. "That's where you were over lunch. You were on a date."

"No I wasn't," Donna assured her. "But I have meet someone." How could she let that slip? Immediately she wanted to catch the words and stuff them back down her throat.

"Who?" C.J. begged. "Why didn't you say anything? He's not a Republican is he?"

"God no," Donna let out with a laugh. She had spoken a little to quickly and a little to easily. She was searching her mind for a possible way out of this.

"Who is he?" C.J asked again. "Is it someone I know?"

Donna didn't want to lie. "He's the most adorable, and the kind man I know."

_God, _she thought. _This conversation is surreal._

C.J. didn't seem satisfied. "Adorable? Kind? How long have you known the guy?" she said with a sarcastic flare.

Donna smiled at her sideways. "I'm very sure it's serious." Trying her best to avoid a true answer, but slowly digging herself into a pit.

_Josh is going to kill me!_

"Serious?" C.J. asked doubtfully. "How long have you been dating?"

"I guess it's been about two months," she told her with the clarity of it being true.

"Two months!"

"And a week," Donna finished with a smile.

"Where do you find the time?" C.J. asked. "I mean I haven't gone on a date...since... well a few years now."

Donna smiled, "We have a working relationship." That wasn't the best remark to make.

_I want to die. Please kill me. Kill me now!_

"Working..."

The phone cut C.J. off.

_Thank God_, Donna thought to herself.

She quickly answered the ring. "Josh Lyman." "Yeah." she answered and the other line hung up. But Donna would do anything to stop C.J. so she stayed on the line and continued a conversation all alone.

Somewhere between, "That's right." and "No that couldn't be it." C.J. got the hint and headed back to her office.

Donna stayed on the line for a little longer just to be sure no ambush was awaiting her when she hung up. She finally gave up the inane chatter and went back to work humming the tune to _Beautiful Boy._

Josh rushed through the halls. He had been in his meeting for two and a half hours, _negotiating_ with Kyles. As a politician Josh couldn't have felt more happy being able to spar with an adversary but as Josh... the Josh who was with Donna... who was pretty sure he was going to be father... who was agonizing over when to burst and tell everyone... as that Josh he wanted to flee the room.

He managed to escape for a few minutes. Toby pulled him out to talk to him quickly. After spending nearly four hours with Kyles it really didn't fell like it was going anywhere. Toby readily agreed. Josh asked Kyles to excuse him politely. When he was done with Toby he took off for the bullpen. "Donna!" he shouted as he marched through the doors.

"You don't have to yell," she said looking up at him from her desk. "Aren't you in a meeting?"

"Yeah," he remarked. "But Toby pulled me out and I just... Can't you tell me anything? I have like thirty seconds but you can tell me something right?"

She smiled and walked over to him. "I'm going to have to start calling you daddy." She said it quietly enough and close enough so no one would hear.

"So you are...?"

"Pregnant yes," she whispered. "You can say the word you know."

He smiled, and wanted to hold her and kiss her. Seeing her smile and knowing for sure that everything was how it should be felt like enough for the moment. He gave her a quick hug and went to Leo's office all aflutter.

Josh was getting nowhere with Kyles, and he couldn't see how he could get Kyles on board without giving away the entire farm.

"Is there no other way?" Josh asked Leo.

Leo just shrugged.

"I hate this guy Leo," Josh told him. "He's the reason people think politicians are sleazy. There's no way to get at the other votes without him."

"What's he want?" Leo asked quickly, avoiding an answer.

"You name it he wants it," Josh answered. "I say we kick him out of here. We try and get Vincent and Francescut."

"We've been through all this with them before," Leo answered him.

"Yeah but you can bet they won't be asking for half as much as Kyles," Josh answered.

"I don't know."

"Leo we don't want these guys. They aren't our guys. How good do you think it is that we are courting their vote?"

Leo looked at him convinced but never really needing all that convincing. "You can get Vincent and Francescut?"

Josh just nodded.

Leo sighed. "What did Toby say?"

"He said to screw Kyles."

"Do it."

When Josh finally made it back to his office, around quarter to midnight, he couldn't find her. He went to sit at his desk and review some work hoping she would return soon.

"Hey," Donna said entering the room with a cup full of coffee. She gently handed it to him across the desk.

"Hello," he said gently. He took the mug without protest or jest. It was a gesture of love and compromise.

"This going to be much longer?"

He shook his head. "We got Francescut and Brerich half an hour ago."

"I though it was Vincent?"

"It was," he answered, sipping the coffee and looking at a note.

Then his head suddenly twitched up as if he just realized who she was. "Hi." He smiled widely, dimples and all.

"Hi," she responded, holding in her laughter.

They stood silent each waiting for the other to speak. "Donna!" Josh finally cried.

She smiled and began. "What do you want to know first? When the babies are due or when you can rampage the White House screaming at the top of your lungs?"

He slowly put his mug down and followed the trim of his desk to find her. Softly Josh grabbed her and kissed her slowly. After a moment of deep concentration he rose for a breath. He gave her a radiant embrace lifting her off the ground, throwing her around in the air.

"Wait," he said holding her up. "You said babies. What do you mean babies?"

"Josh," she said with a laugh.

He looked excited. "Yeah."

"Can you put me down?" she uttered after returning his kiss. "I've been throwing up all day and the medication the doctor gave me hasn't really been working."

When Josh lowered her to the ground, he kissed her again and waited for her reply.

"Josh," she said slowly, she could barely believe it. "Josh I'm... we're having triplets."

He didn't know what to say. He kissed her passionately, his joy boiling over in his action. The kiss got deeper and deeper. Fearful that he might start to grope her, Donna had to push him away.

She smiled and stared at his glowing eyes. "Not that I don't like displays of affection but considering how the days been going maybe we shouldn't be displaying our affection in the West Wing."

"Donna," Josh sighed in joy. Then he grinned mischievously. "When can I start telling people?"

Donna laughed for joy, something she hadn't done all week. Then she said seriously. "Josh, if we say something and then..."

"And then..." he repeated slowly when she couldn't finish the sentence. She lowered her eyes. She couldn't look at him.

"Josh," she tried once more but her voice failed.

"Donna, what is it?" he said lifting her face to look at his own.

She smiled weakly. "Well now that I know its triplets... Josh there's an increased chance that... that I won't carry term... that..."

"Donna," Josh said slowly and gave her an embrace. "Don't worry." He could hear her sigh. He rocked her back and forth. "It's time to tell them anyway. I mean it's been six months."

"Two months," she corrected him quickly.

"Donna," Josh whined. He backed off from her. He placed his hands on her arms and gently soothed her as he moved them up and down.

"Are you sure you want to tell them? I don't want you to lose your job," she told him. All her insecurities rushing back. "I could never give up this," she said placing her hand on his chest. "But I'd understand..."

"Donna stop!" Josh told her. "I want this. God you have no idea how much I want this. I would leave politics if that were what I had to do. But I want this Donna. I want you."

She smiled at his comment. She wanted to hold him and tell him that she was happy. She didn't though, she still felt restricted by environment. "Thank you," she staggered along.

"I love you," he told her and kissed her forehead softly.

She smiled and placed her head on his shoulder. They rocked back and forth. "Josh?" she said after a pause.

"What?"

"I'm pretty sure I have to go throw up," she said patiently but quickly.

"Yeah," he said backing away from her, looking at her face and lingering in her sight. "So when can..."

"We'll tell C.J. tomorrow," Donna told him. "Now I..." she turned violently on her feet and ran down the hall.

He smiled with sympathy and darted back to his desk. The day was or rather had been filled with a gift he never thought he would be able to experience. Life.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. I am sad now. Cry.

Author's note: I am sorry if you thought the triplets were cliché. I thought it was too. So so cliché. But it made me laugh. So I love it. This is weird. But oh so good.

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She paced back and forth. They had come in early. They had organized their plan the night before.

Donna had abandoned him as soon as they arrived. She had felt too sick to face them. She had barely slept for almost a month now. It was hard for her to imagine she'd been pregnant that long. Now the pressure was starting to way lay her, emotionally and physically.

She could barely look Josh in the eyes without spewing nonsense. She didn't know what to do. She felt nervous, more nervous than she had ever imagined.

All she could hear were Josh's words. "It would be amazing." And but for the silent horror that was tightening her chest, and the terror of facing the lies they'd made, she was pretty sure herself, it will be amazing.

Donna sat in C.J.'s office after lunch. She had been waiting coolly for fifteen minutes. Numbing her mind for the right words, trying her best to think of what to say.

"Donna?" C.J. said when she saw her sitting.

Donna quickly rose up. "Hi C.J."

"Can I help you?" C.J. asked. "Josh doesn't have you looking into Carole Young does he? We've got it covered. I just wanted to keep him in the loop. He shouldn't..."

"No it's not that," Donna told her. She stared out down the hall. "Josh said he would be here..." she told C.J. waving to his office.

"He's in a meeting I think," C.J. answered her. "What's going on?" C.J. said with wavering concern. She circled around to her desk and sat down.

Donna promptly followed her taking a seat across from her. "It's just," she began but fell short. "I..."

C.J. looked at her for a moment. Donna's eyes had waded into space, and the room was silent.

"Donna!" C.J. cried.

Donna looked at her. "C.J. I'm pregnant," she said with courage before trailing off again. "Well I guess we're pregnant... but... well... I shouldn't be... but then I am... so..."

C.J. sat for a moment a little awed. "Donna that's amazing."

Donna looked at her again. "No it's not. Why are you all so crazy? It's terrible. That's why I... we were coming to you... It's huge... catastrophic... disastrous... horrific..."

"Donna!" C.J. said with utter disbelief at Donna's words.

"See it's not just mine."

"I assumed as much," C.J. said with a smile.

"It's just... well..." Donna's eyes treaded off into space once more.

C.J. still wasn't exactly sure what was going on.

"Donna I..."

"Two months ago Josh and I started a serious relationship," Donna swung back to reality. "Josh likes to say six months but it's only been two... and a week... and three days," Donna spattered. "We... I... weellll..." Donna said throwing her hands up in the hopes C.J. would understand.

C.J. sat still trying her best not to see it as a P.R. disaster. Donna rose from her chair and began to pace the room. She was shaking her hands and nodding her head as though justifying what she might next say.

"Does..."

"No one knows," Donna assured her. "We were very private. We... well we lied to everyone. We thought it would be better if no one knew. Total deniability... we... just... I..."

She continued to pace the room.

"How long..."

"We've known for a week," Donna told her. "Well no I guess it's been longer... but we've been sure for a week... we... I... don't..."

She sat down and stared silently.

"So the working...?"

Donna only gave a vague nod.

"Donna I love you, and I love Josh but this could have come at a better time," C.J. tried to explain. "The President is facing so much in the..."

"I know," Donna told her.

The two women sat in silence, both their glares fading into different places of space.

"You didn't wait to tell her?" Josh asked standing in the doorway. Donna turned around and looked at him. "After all the fuss you made, you told her without me?"

C.J. rose from her desk. She still wasn't exactly sure what to say.

"Congratulations," she mumbled and gave Josh a quick embrace.

"See I told you so," Josh said while C.J.'s arms rested around him.

Then she smacked him on the back of the head.

"Owow," Josh yelped. "What the hell?"

Donna was ready to leave. Josh stopped her and held her by the arm. She stood beside him, waiting and wanting to escape.

"When were you going to tell everyone?" C.J. asked.

Josh smiled. "Today, sometime."

Donna still dazed responded. "We just told you first... You know C.J.'s first... That's what I said... yep..."

Both Josh and C.J. stared at her.

Josh looked back at C.J. "Don't worry she's been like this all day."

C.J. gave a slight smile but she was genuinely worried.

"I'm going back to my desk now," Donna told Josh gaping at him, dazed.

"Okay," Josh told her letting her go.

Their eyes followed her out of the room before C.J.'s rested on Josh.

"Is she okay?" C.J. asked him.

Josh shrugged not exactly sure. "She's been scared to say anything all week."

"She didn't seem scared... she was more shell shocked," C.J. told him. There was a pause wherein C.J. circled back to her desk. "Josh how could you be so stupid?"

The question held in the air for a moment.

"C.J. we... I..." Josh stuttered. "After everything there... we... why exactly do you think I'm stupid?"

C.J. stared at him with anger. "You slept with your assistant," her voice was calm and she withheld her anger from her tone.

Josh's look became serious. "I didn't just sleep with her. God, it's about more than that. It's been six months, C.J.!"

"Donna said two."

"Two months ago was the first time that we had sex," Josh clarified.

"Whoa," C.J. said throwing a hand as though to stop further information.

"But it's been going on for longer than six months. I say six months because that's the first time I took her to an actual dinner, that was the first time I kissed her. Donna says two months because she doesn't want it to seem like we've had an ongoing relationship for a great length of time. I say six months because I've loved her for so much longer..."

"Josh," C.J. sighed.

"C.J.," he tried to begin.

"Why'd you keep it from us? From everyone?" C.J. said raising her voice.

"Yes well," Josh began. His words became nervous and swift. "You see we didn't want it to be a thing. Because it isn't a thing. If it is a thing it's a great thing... What's wrong with you two? It's great... It's amazing."

C.J. stood frozen. Then she realized how angry she really wasn't. She smiled softly. "Josh, go back to work."

"Okay" Josh said and turned to exit.

"And Josh?" she said sitting down in her chair.

"Yeah?"

"Congratulations."

Josh stared at Donna. "Are you alright?" he asked seeing her stare at her computer screen barely moving.

"I'm fine," she told him looking at him in the eyes.

He sighed and rested his hand on her shoulder. "I have to go now."

She waited a second and held his gaze. "I know."

For a moment they held each other, staring, waiting and helplessly wishing to be alone. They had barely been alone all week.

Josh suddenly removed his hand and the spell broke. "I'll see you later," he mumbled quietly.

She watched him walk through the doors. She turned her eyes back to her desk, before fading them back into space.

There was a late senior staff meeting in Leo's Office. She unconsciously pulled into the room after Josh. She stood behind him. She had yet to tell him how she felt, and why telling everyone was so hard for her. She cowered behind him.

"Donna did you need something?" Leo mumbled when he finally saw her.

Josh turned around and glanced at her. "She's actually here for a thing."

Everyone stared at them but neither moved.

"I'll come back," Donna said and ran out the door before Josh could grab her.

"What the hell was that?" Toby asked.

Josh meet C.J.'s eyes. He really wasn't sure what to do.

The room fell silent.

"Josh!" Leo commanded. "Are you going to say something or can we get some work done?"

Somehow Josh let the meeting progress. He let them talk about Carole Young, about the trip to Manchester. He watched as the world slipped away from him, and he felt more and more cornered by reality.

"Is that all?" Leo asked.

"Josh has a thing," C.J. said with a grin trying to help him along.

Josh glared at her before looking up at all of them. "Well you see... I don't know how to say this...I... we..." He began to pace the room. "You see... it's just... and we... well... let me just say..."

"Oh for Gods sake," C.J. said throwing her hands into the air and sitting down. Leo, Toby, and Sam looked over at her.

"You know what he's talking about?" Leo asked in a humorous tone.

"Right well here goes," Josh began. Everyone was hanging on the edge of his next words. They didn't come.

"Josh?" Toby began.

Josh stared at them silently.

"You haven't said anything," Sam mocked waiting for some kind of response. Josh only stared at the room, mouth open words waiting to flow out.

"Josh you know we have work..." Leo was cut off.

"Donna's pregnant," Josh uttered. Everyone but C.J. jumped in their seats. "And see the thing is..." he stopped.

"The thing is?" Sam retorted.

"The thing is I'm the father," Josh said less gracefully then he had hoped for. For the life of him he wanted Donna in the room with him.

Silence followed. Their glances fell into the spaces of their minds.

"We... well I guess we started _dating_ two months ago," Josh told them. "But it wasn't really dating but we've been a relationship. And well... I... we... didn't... I know it was probably horrifically stupid to not say anything but... we well… and now..."

No one spoke.

"I just... we weren't exactly sure... but Donna went to the doctor... and well... we wanted to tell you at the right time... and..."

Josh stared at the room. Their faces were filled with their thoughts.

"With the week going like it was," Josh told them. "We didn't have much time to stop and think... we just..."

C.J. stared at him with an encouraging smile. She hadn't expected them to make the announcement like this, with a crowd, where they would be ganged up on. The idea might have seemed superb for that brief instant before Donna fled the room.

"Congratulations," Sam said getting up and giving him a friendly embrace.

"Mazel Tov," Toby said offering him an extended hand.

Leo waited silently. "Not for nothing Josh, but congratulations."

Josh stood wide-eyed and glowing. He had never expected it to go so well. He had expected yelling, and cursing, and P.R. planning, and being fired. He stood in the room warmed over with a sense of success and pride. Suddenly they all came at him at once. Sam, Toby and Leo were talking with raised voices.

"I know you're stupid Josh but..."

"Can't you see how terrible this will be...?"

"Are you trying to lose your job...?"

Josh wanted to run from the room. Run as far away from the White House as he could possibly manage. If Donna had been there they would have held back. No one yells at Donna, well no one except him.

"Guys," C.J. chimed in. "Give it a rest."

All three stared at her at once.

"You knew about this," Leo demanded. "And you didn't stop him?"

"I found out about it this morning," C.J. told him, not liking his accusation. "Josh knew he was stupid," she told them looking at Josh who shuttered. "But he's happy. I'm pretty sure he's in love. And he's going to be a father."

Silence followed. Leo sat down in his chair.

"Anything else?" Leo asked in a tone indicating that there obviously was.

Suddenly realizing that all eyes were turned on him Josh began to stutter, "Well I... what... I..." He figured he would wait to have Donna in the room before he told them they were having triplets. That felt like a good thing. Something they should share together.

"So what is it? Is Donna afraid of us?" Leo asked him.

"Two months?" Came the sudden question from Sam. His eyes were bright warning Josh that he was technically off the hook. His voice stood stern.

"Well it's been more like six months. After Roslyn we were close and then well... and then we... but we knew we shouldn't but then... It just happened," Josh began. He really couldn't explain it in much more detail. They hadn't sat down to have a conversation about whether it was right, well not until long afterward, about a week ago. Things had just unfolded but it had happened in an instant where everything felt right. For two months it had felt right... now they knew it was.

"Josh," Leo sighed.

"I know," Josh said hanging his head in half shame. "But if it really matters that much now, well I'd quit politics before I'd leave Donna. I'd do anything for her. And now..."

"Now you're having children together?" Sam asked with a jesting tone, but truly felt hurt.

Josh nodded and sighed. Then he looked up at them all. Even C.J. had faded into that space where only her own thoughts existed.

"I'm going to go check on Donna," Josh began backing out of the room before anyone of them could object.

He found her sitting in his office, bracing herself on his desk. Trying to control her breathing, hopelessly crying.

"Donna?" he muttered as he entered. "Are you okay?"

She looked up at his her eyes swelling red. "No."

He walked over to her gently. "What's wrong?"

She didn't want to tell him. She didn't feel as though he would understand. But she needed him too.

"I'm scared Josh," she whimpered slowly.

"Scared to tell them?"

"No," she said calmly. "I'm scared of this..."

Josh looked at her with utter confusion but he was trying harder than he had ever done in his life to understand.

"Donna?" Josh told her. Her eyes stared straight into his heart. "We're in this together. I won't let you be alone."

She wasn't sure if it was true but for the moment that was enough.

She slowly wiped her eyes, and took a tissue and blew her nose. Then she turned to Josh with a smile. Offering her his arm, she took it, and together they marched through the West Wing to Leo's office, to their awaiting fate.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I don't own them.

Author's Note: This Chap moves a little bit slow. But enjoy.

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Three days after they had told the senior staff, they were going to tell the President.

The senior staff had bounced from their own worlds when Donna appeared. But there was a glint in their eyes, and some tone missing from their voices that Donna could not ignore. She felt she had faded in their respect. She was trying her best to not imagine how the President would react.

Donna barely slept all week. The anxiety and the shock of the situation had kept her pacing Josh's bedroom. She had caught a few hours on the couch after work, but only a few. Josh would have slept soundly but he felt her body missing from his side. He felt he should stay awake with her. Now all he wanted was to understand how she was feeling, he wanted to do everything possible to keep her calm.

They stayed up most nights, talking, sometimes even working. Donna began to feel calm, dozing off as the early hours of morning approached. But when they arrived at work all her anxiety returned. She felt her chest swell up with fear, and her heart skip a beat as she looked at the grand building. The place that had given her so much, she felt like she was losing the respect needed to walk inside.

Josh had kept up with work as best as he could manage. He also didn't want to be on Leo's bad side. Not any more than he already was. He was prompt for meetings, on time with his schedule, but he only worked as late as he had too. He was acting like a father now. He would have to make sacrifices. He could work from home, or you know leave the office before nine.

There was a silence between him and the senior staff. The situation had barely become a reality to them. It would be much longer before it would become a reality to the world. They tried to talk to Donna, but she was too embarrassed or scared to formulate a response. No one had seen her that way, no one could believe she was the same person. She was withdrawn, scared.

Even when Josh had been in surgery after the shooting she had been calm, alone but alive. Here in the halls of the West Wing she rested on a life of insanity, a world of lesser peoples, of lesser grace. The only one who saw her smile was Josh, and then it only came in the waking hours of the morning when the love of a greater life outweighed the lifelessness of guilt.

The day arrived, the day they had set their promise to.

Josh woke and saw her sleeping quietly beside him. Her soft breath was shallow but sweet to his ears. He laid next to her a moment his head turned to see her face. She was angelic. All airs vanishing from her in the hours between sleep and wake.

"Josh?" she whispered.

"Shhh," he replied and softly kissed her temple. "Sleep."

"Josh," she said opening her eyes upon his own. She smiled. "Good morning."

He smiled widely. "Good morning."

"What time is it?" she asked stretching and lifting herself into a sitting position.

He rose and looked at her. "Six thirty," he mumbled wiping his eyes, and yawning. "We should probably get going."

"Six thirty?" she asked passively.

"Yeah."

"You're kidding?" her voice asked suddenly becoming awake.

"No," he asked looking at her with a vague recollection of why she might seem panicked.

"Josh!" she shouted suddenly leaping from the bed. "I have to be there in half an hour."

Josh only stared at her, not moving himself from the bed. "Donna will you calm down."

She roared around the room in search of clothes and ran back to the mantel and put on her watch. "Come on we have to leave."

"What are you talking about?" Josh asked still half-asleep.

Donna looked at him in rampant anger. "We're supposed to meet the President and First Lady in half an hour."

His eyes popped open when he realized the time and the date. "Damn it!"

They both rose and silently, in a more than panicked fashion stormed the apartment in search of their things. They found each other a few minutes later as they put on coats and filed outside to the car.

"Are you ready?" Josh asked her before turning the key in the ignition.

"No," Donna told him truthfully. "You?"

He turned his head to see her. "I've never been more scared in my life."

They both sighed.

"It shouldn't be like this. It shouldn't be this hard."

"No," Josh told her. "But it is. We are who we are, and there is no escaping that."

She smiled, and put her hand gently on his arm. "Let's go."

He pulled out and began the drive that seemed longer than usual to the White House, where President Bartlet currently resided.

"Josh?" her voice was small and insecure. "I don't know if I can do this."

"It's alright Donna," he told her gently, holding her hand. "Charlie said they would be having breakfast by now. Don't worry," he lifted her hand to his lips and gave it a soft kiss. "It will be fine."

"I know," she answered him. "I don't know if I can eat breakfast."

He laughed quietly. "You have to eat something."

She smiled and followed him through the Lobby. "We're really doing this?"

"Yes!" he yelled a little surprised that she was still talking about backing out.

When they arrived Charlie was standing outside waiting for them. He smiled when he saw them. Josh had filled him in the night before.

"Hello," Charlie said. "Just a sec." He went into the Residents. "Sorry sir, Josh to see you." He turned around to them. "You can go in."

Donna squeezed Josh's hand for support. He smiled but kept his eyes looking forward, squeezing her hand in return. Terrified, there was no other way to describe it.

"Hello Mr. President, Mrs. Bartlet," Josh said as he entered the room.

"Hello Josh," the President replied without looking at him. He was reading the paper and eating some watermelon. "Charlie put you on the schedule late last night, said you had something important to tell me and my wife." When he turned around he threw his arms into the air. And Donna. Good morning."

The Bartlets were sitting down for breakfast. "To what do we owe the honor?" Dr. Bartlet asked, with a smiled as she ravaged through the fruit bowl.

"We...ummm..." Josh stuttered.

Suddenly two sets of eyes were upon them. "Am I mistaken," the President began. "Or are you holding Donna's hand?"

Quickly Donna and Josh moved away from each other, a little embarrassed but mostly horrified. "I..." Josh began but fell short, mouth falling open.

Dr. Bartlet smiled. "About time."

Her husband turned to smile at her, while Josh and Donna stared blankly mouths wide.

"I'm sorry M'am?" Donna managed to ask.

The President laughed as he turned to see the looks on their faces. "Is this really what you came to tell us?"

Before either could answer, "Sit and eat," came the less than subtle order from the First Lady.

Josh and Donna pulled away from each other and joined them at the little table set in their bedroom. Both felt awkward, they'd never felt that awkward in their lives.

"No sir," Josh began as he took his seat. "We didn't come to tell you that exactly."

"So there really is a that?" the First Lady asked.

Donna smiled. "Yes M'am."

"Well details, details," the President began to order.

Both of them were taken a little a back by the warm reception. First of all it had never occurred to them that details might be in order, they hadn't thought the President would want to know. Secondly everyone in the White House who knew, even Charlie hadn't stopped to ask for details. They were to busy trying to think of how they could protect the President. Josh and Donna hadn't blamed them; they were just doing their jobs. They hadn't expected the President, the very person everyone was trying to shield from harm, to be a friend first.

One of them had to finish the story before the First Couple got to carried away. They'd be planning their wedding before finding out the current situation. They sat talking back and forth while Josh and Donna stared at each other to shocked to begin. The words passing from First Lady to President were lost to them, if they had heard them they would have felt the reverent touch that only true friendship could bring.

"Well sir," Josh tried interrupted. He readjusted in his seat before trying again. "I...we... that is Donna and I... you see the thing is..."

Donna reached out and grabbed his hand across the table. "Sir. M'am." she addressed the Bartlets. "Over the years, Josh and I have had a _developing_ relationship. We are extremely close and very much in love." Her tone was commanding, straightforward and a little abrupt.

"That's..." the President began.

"Please let me finish," Donna said determined, to Josh's horror and pride. At that moment both Bartlets sat straight up in their seats, paying close attention. "We never planned to start a relationship while you were in office sir," she continued without missing a beat. "We feel terrible for keeping it a secret but we thought it was best. But now sir..." she stopped to breathe.

"Now we are expecting," Josh told them giving Donna's hand a press.

"Oh," the President said taken aback himself. "Expecting what _exactly_?"

"Jed!" Came the First Lady's cry.

"What?" then he saw the look in his wife's eye. "Oh...Really?"

"Yes sir," Donna replied staring down at the table, hiding her eyes.

Dr. Bartlet placed her hand on Donna's arms. "How far along are you?" she asked cheerfully, though still slightly taken aback.

Donna looked up and smiled. Somehow knowing that she had the support of the Bartlets was enough to sustain her beliefs in not only the White House but in herself.

"It's only been four weeks," Donna told her. "We weren't sure if we should say anything for a while but we just knew it was time to out the secret."

"What I don't understand?"

"You usually don't say anything for the first few months sir," Josh told him with a wide smile.

"Why?"

"That's when most things go wrong," Dr. Bartlet told him while giving Josh a smile.

"Oh," was all the reply he managed. "Women."

Josh and Donna looked at each other and let each other go. They sailed back into their chairs, smiling. A sense of grace had been given back to them. That was enough to last a lifetime, and to experience a new life.

They began to rise from their seats, a second later.

"Where are you going?" came Abbey's call.

"We wouldn't want to impose," Donna told her, heading towards the door.

"Sit," the President ordered in a begrudgingly charmed tone.

They returned to the seats and held them. They sat and talked quietly. Together like four friends who hadn't seen each other for a while. Warm and gentle but above all things filled with love and memories.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: Not mine. I love them.

Author's Note: Merry Christmas. Got the fifth season this morning. Does a little dance. Happy. Enjoy.

No one had bothered to think about the stress Donna must be experiencing. Donna hadn't even thought about the affects stress might have on her body.

Donna thought her anxiety would disappear after telling the Bartlets. She thought that would be the last point where everything would either come together or fall apart. Now she couldn't help but wish it were that easy.

As she sat at her desk in the morning she still felt terrible and her anxiety was still alive. They were going to tell Josh's mother and Donna's parents that afternoon. The slow curse still hung over her head and weight down on her shoulders.

She tried to work but she felt her chest expand with pain and her head swell. She lent over her desk as her breath became pants and she felt like her face was filling with fire. Her eyes were filling with tears.

_Why?_ she thought to herself. _I can't stop it. There's so much..._

Her stomach began to ache but she stayed in her chair and didn't call to anyone. The pain began to overwhelm her. She didn't know what to do, but fear took over along with panic.

Josh was wrangled once again at Senior Staff. He handled it extremely well, as voices clashed. He left the room before Leo could say anything that might cause Josh to take action that would not only force him to lose his job but would probably end him in jail.

He did a few laps down the halls, trying to cool his temper before going back inside. The meeting broke, everyone feeling uncertain about how to handle it. Whether it might not even become an issue had yet to cross their minds.

Donna felt a sharp pain in her stomach. She finally rose, slowly. Her head felt dizzy, and she could feel the beats of her heart grow louder and quicker. She tried to support herself on her desk. With no one around to catch her she feel to the ground, silently without a cry.

Assistants ran to her, one getting on the phone and calling for an ambulance. Someone began to take her pulse.

Donna could only vaguely make them out, her eyes were blurry and her head was rushing with pain. Her body was growing feverish, and her stomach was shooting with violent torture.

Sam and C.J. suddenly exited into the hall, after observing the commotion of interns rushing back and forth.

"What's going on?" C.J. shouted.

"It's Donna," someone said as they passed by while everyone seemed to be running somewhere.

Sam ran towards Donna's desk in a rampant dash. C.J. followed him terrified with worry.

"Donna!" C.J. shouted when she saw her lying on the ground.

The intern, who had stayed with Donna when everyone else had risen in a rush of panic, got up when C.J. and Sam knelt down to take her place. She went into the lobby and waited for the ambulance to arrive.

"Donna?" C.J. questioned softly while supporting her friend's head and looking at her half-open eyes in terror and fear.

Sam knelt beside her and held her hand, waiting for her to make some kind of response.

"Josh," Donna whispered half-coherently. Both Sam and C.J. leaned in to hear her more clearly. "Find Josh. Tell him..."

She was cut off when two paramedics stormed into the bullpen. Both C.J. and Sam let her go as she was hoisted up and carefully adjusted.

"Where's Josh?" Sam shouted as he watched Donna cry out in pain when the paramedics tried to move her.

An assistant ran over to him. "Mr. Lyman didn't come back from Senior Staff. He had a meeting on the Hill at eight... but he never came back to get his things. Someone's been trying his cell but it's turned off."

"For God's sake," C.J. said throwing her hands up into the air. She looked at Sam. "I have to brief in ten minutes." As though to say "_Are you going to go with her?"_

Sam was still staring at Donna. "I have a meeting in like five minutes. I can cancel."

"No," came the quiet and commanding voice from behind them. "I'll go."

Toby began to follow the paramedics into the lobby. C.J. and Sam followed him and watched Donna as she was wheeled into the back of the large vehicle. Toby followed the paramedics, sitting down next to Donna.

"Toby?" Sam called.

"Find Josh!" he shouted as the doors were shut.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I don't own them. It is sad but true.

Author's Note: I just got back from my vacations. I really didn't think you guys would have gotten all in an uproar about the ending. Sorry. I have the next chapter here for you. And Micky thanks for the pie.

"Has someone found Josh yet?" Leo asked Margaret, as he entered his office.

"Not yet," she told him. Leo only shook his head and sighed. "Can I ask you something?"

Fearing the worst had never stopped Margaret before. "What?"

"Does Josh usually turn off his cell phone _and_ pager?"

Leo knew the answer was clear, obvious. "No."

"So then..."

"Just find him," Leo cut her off, too worried and a little too guilty to let her carry on. "Is C.J. starting her briefing?"

"Yeah," Margaret replied and exited his office.

C.J. stood up at the podium broadcasts from Leo's television. She began with the usually updates. Took a few questions on the hard topics before the question came.

"What's with the paramedics in the lobby?"

"There was a medical emergency Chris," C.J. told her.

"What was the nature of the emergency?"

"I can't say."

"Why, C.J.?"

"Well, I'm not a medical professional." C.J. was trying to avoid a straight answer. She didn't want to turn this into a _thing._ She felt that was the least she could do.

"Can you tell us who was injured?"

"No," C.J. replied abruptly and sharply. She knew she had said it too quickly. She quickly regained her composure. "We would however like to thank the emergency personnel for responding so quickly."

"C.J.! C.J?" the room exploded as soon as she paused.

"That's all for now." She took her folder from the podium and went out the door.

She walked back to her office briskly, Carol pacing by her side.

Danny swooped in behind her.

'That was a little bit of a slip," Danny told her.

"Danny," C.J. just sighed.

"You don't think it was a little bit abrupt?"

"It as just fine," C.J. told him walking away from him as quickly as she could pace.

"How's Donna?"

"Danny!" C.J. yelled, turning around looking ready to hit him with some folders.

"What!"

She looked at him sincerely. "Just drop it."

"C.J. I don't know what's going on but I'm pretty sure I'll find out," he began to tell her. "I'm also pretty sure that after your performance in there, everyone knows there's something going on. And if it wasn't a thing before it will definitely now be a much bigger thing."

"Danny," C.J. sighed.

"What is she a thief? Has she been divulging military secrets?" he asked in a joking manner.

"Danny, just drop it." She was angry and her tone displayed her dismay.

"Okay," he paused and followed C.J. and stood just outside her office door. "Off the record," Danny began again. "How's Donna?"

"I don't know," C.J. said going through things on her desk and in her folder, avoiding Danny's eyes.

"Okay," Danny sighed and backed away.

C.J. looked up. When Danny was out of distance she shouted "Carol!"

Carol was suddenly standing in the doorway.

"Does anyone know what happened?" C.J. asked her.

"She was just standing there," Carol began. "And then she feel down."

"We don't know anything?"

"No," Carol told her.

"Has _anyone_ found Josh?"

"No."

C.J. sighed and turned to her desk. "I have to..." she told Carol pointing to her desk. Carol nodded in response. "Can you tell me when..."

"Will do," Carol said and turned to use the phone.

"Mr. Lyman?" someone asked as though they weren't sure if it was really him.

He stood in the bullpen staring at Donna's desk. Josh didn't even look up at the assistant. "Where's Donna?"

"Josh!" C.J. cried running down the hall. "Where the hell have you been?"

Josh looked at her with a glazed look. "I... have you seen Donna?"

"Josh," C.J. said in a calm voice. "She was taken to the hospital half an hour ago."

"What!" he shouted looking up at her.

"She collapsed," C.J. told him. "Toby went with her. We've been trying to reach you."

Josh stormed back into the Lobby. She followed him quickly. "Josh you can't drive..."

He batted a hand at her as he went straight through the front doors. He stood for a moment and looked around. Then he began to run towards the parking lot.

"Josh!" C.J. called. "Josh! You shouldn't be driving!"

Josh ignored her. She caught up to him moments before he entered his car. She closed the driver's side door sharply.

"Josh," she said softly.

"C.J.," Josh sighed. He stopped himself for a moment. Sure he would cry any moment he covered his forehead with a hand.

"Come on," C.J. said opening the door to Josh's car. "Give me the keys."

Josh slowly handed her the keys and ran around the car to the passenger' side. He slipped into the car, buckled up and faded into his own mind.

"Carol?" he heard C.J. mumble beside him. "Shift all my appointments an hour back. I know but... Yeah Okay."

She hung up the phone and started the car.

Josh kept shouting at C.J. Telling her to go faster, and skip road signs and red lights all together. He didn't really remember the drive, he knew it was the longest drive of his life, but he didn't remember it.

Thoughts flashed and pierced his mind. _I pushed her over the edge. What if Donna's in trouble? What if Donna loses the babies? What if I lose Donna?_ He was lost, he felt alone, and he couldn't vanquish thoughts of guilt.

"Josh?" C.J. said softly as they pulled up to the hospital.

"Hmmm?" Josh mumbled as he raised his head.

They managed to walk into the hospital calmly. "I'm looking for Donna Moss," Josh told the woman at the counter.

"Josh!" came a crying voice from down the hall.

Josh met him halfway down the hall. "Toby where is she?"

Toby softly looked into Josh's eyes. "She's with the doctors now...they've kept me waiting...I don't know anything." He was breathing heavy like he had been running steps.

Josh became panicked. "Where is she?" Toby began to shrug, repeating the he didn't know anything. Josh ignored him and ran back to the front desk. "I'm looking for Donna Moss," he announced once more, a little more desperate.

The attendant looked over a clipboard. "How are you related to her?" the man asked as he folded through paper.

"I'm the deputy Chief of Staff. I have the diplomatic rank of a three star general. Tell me where she is," Josh yelled.

C.J. and Toby stood behind him, a little worried about the people who had begun to stare at them, let alone the exclusive the man in front of Josh would give the Inquirer when approached. Leave it to Josh to make a scene.

"I..." he began as he looked up at them. Suddenly an epiphany ran over his face as he realized who they were. "She's gone to maternity..."

Josh wasn't in the right state of mind to ask the right question. He started to run, not exactly sure where he was going to go. "Where are the elevators!" he shouted.

"Which level...?" C.J. asked.

"Four," he told them.

Toby mumbled and waved a good-bye of begrudged thanks.

The attendant tried to call after them but they had vanished around the corner before he had the time to shout.

Josh turned around swiftly trying to find elevators or stairs. C.J. and Toby each took an elbow and navigated him into the elevator. Neither knew exactly what to say. They wanted to say, "Josh I'm sure she's fine." "It was probably nothing." "Don't worry." but they couldn't do it in good conscience. If things went wrong, then they'd have the memory of being wrong.

When the elevator opened on the fourth level Josh stormed through the doors and ran down the hall faster than either C.J. or Toby could keep up. He found the nursing station.

"Donna Moss? Where's Donna Moss?" he echoed through pants.

One of the nurses came over to him. "She can't see guests right now."

"What!" Josh yelled. "I'm the father.".

The nurse's mood changed at this. "She's had quite a scare," the nurse began. The words merely floated the room barely finding Josh. "She's in room 459." Josh stormed down the hall. "The doctor should be there soon," the nurse shouted after him.

Josh found the room and violently ran inside, only to find his gentle Donna sleeping quietly.

He slowly glided through the room and sat in the chair next to her. He took her hand and sat for a moment, taking a desperate sigh. She was here, with him. For the moment that was enough.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I own not the characters I have made my own in heart and spirit. They belong to people who just don't write it quite right. Damn I want Sorkin Back.

Author's Note: I am sad because John Spencer died. I am sad. Anywho I am so sorry I haven't written in so long. I just was well doing stuff…. You don't need to know… if you do you can ask but I am sorry. I meant to do it earlier. For those of you reading _I can't remember_ I think it is dragging so it will end soon… unless you know someone says something else. And well others should be updated sooner than real later. Love… and enjoy…

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"She should be fine," the doctor assured him. "She's been over-stressed. That might have been what caused her to pass out."

Josh nodded, staring at her. "Do you know what went wrong?"

The doctor shook his head. "No," he answered, not being very reassuring. "We took some blood and did some scans. I want her to stay here overnight so we can be sure there's no danger to the babies."

Josh sighed, wishing she would wake up, and to tell him everything would be fine.

"Has she been eating much lately?" the doctor asked him holding a folder, making notes on a sheet.

Josh finally looked over at him. "She's been having a hard time keeping anything down."

The doctor nodded his reply. "I'm going to recommend bed rest, and we'll have to find a way to keep her nourished."

Josh looked at him panicked. "She won't like that."

The doctor nodded and smiled. "But her blood sugar was extremely low. And she's at a higher risk for miscarriage." He looked at Josh with a reassuring compassion.

Josh nodded only half-understanding. "Okay." Josh didn't think the man had been reassuring at all.

He sat down next to Donna. She hadn't woken up, and he wasn't planning on waking her. She could sleep for days before he'd start to worry. She looked peaceful.

He couldn't help but feel guilty. He had been angry. He should have gone back to see her right away. Instead he had tried to walk it off, he didn't want to come back and make her feel worse.

He sat and held her hand. He just wanted to see her happy, he had no other wish. He rubbed his fingers gently up and down her palm, the doctor in the background making some kind of orders. C.J. could listen now; he could listen later.

"Has she been sleeping much?" the doctor asked him.

Josh sub-consciously shook his head.

"Is she on any medication?"

He turned and looked up at the doctor. "She was taking something for her nausea; it wasn't working."

The doctor nodded and jotted something down on his pad. He continued for several minutes to ask Josh questions that to him seemed irrelevant and a little abnormal. But soon everyone left. C.J. left with the doctor promising to call later on. Toby stayed for a while and sat with Josh.

"Do you know when I was five," Toby began after they had been sitting quietly for sometime. "I remember falling, and not being able to get up. My mother came quickly to my side and she asked me, 'Toby are you alright?' And she picked me up and she took me inside. And as she took care of my knee she told me a story about when I would grow up. She would always say 'When you grow up you will be a strong man?' And I used to think she was right." Toby sat in reflective silence. His eyes glanced at Josh then rested on Donna.

Quietly he got up and put on his jacket. "But now every time something goes wrong, all I can think about is the time I feel down and my mother picked me up."

Josh didn't know what to make of it. Toby left, with a sigh. Josh wasn't sure if Toby was trying to make him feel better, or if he was trying to depress him even more. He just knew that he felt sad, he felt guilty but at least, sitting next to Donna, he didn't feel alone.

He sat for hours in that room. Only staring at her, wishing and hoping she would be all right. Slowly he began to doze off, resting his head on her hospital bed.

"Josh?" she stuttered as she woke. She looked around panicking and worried. "Where am I?" Her eyes were fogged; she couldn't focus. Her limbs felt weak, and she felt drowsy.

"Hmm?" Josh's head rose. Suddenly he saw her blinking eyes and startled look. "Donna? You're awake."

"Where am I?" she repeated. She felt tense, but she wanted to move, push herself up so she could sit.

"You're at the hospital," he began. "You collapsed at the office."

She still couldn't see clearly but she felt her eyes begin to water. "I don't want to be here. I want to go home." She was ready to walk out of the hospital right then. She suddenly realized she was far too tired to hold herself up.

Josh rose quickly and placed a hand softly on her shoulder and the center of her back. "It's okay Donna. You should rest."

She tried to look at him. He was a blurry image hanging above her. She settled back down in the bed and Josh sat back down in his chair.

"Josh?"

"Yeah."

"Just," she paused and tried to bring him into focus. "Just don't leave me," she mumbled as she closed her eyes ready to fall back into sleep.

He rose and kissed her forehead. "I never will." She had already fallen back into sleep but he felt sure he saw a smile escape her lips.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I own them. I own them. Maybe if I say it enough the rights will materialize in front of me. Waiting… waiting… nope guess I don't own them.

Author's Note: Want to know how together I am? I thought I posted this two weeks ago.

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The doctor found Josh the next morning, sitting beside Donna's bed, head half resting in his hands.

"Did you sleep at all?" the doctor mumbled as he entered.

Josh looked up at him. "A little," Josh sat sitting straight. "But then the night nurse came in."

The doctor smiled. "Did she wake up?" he asked as he picked up the folder at the end of her bed.

Josh nodded. He turned his eyes to Donna "Not for very long," he muttered. "She was..." he didn't manage to finish. He had never imagined Donna as being weak.

The doctor didn't seem to pay much attention. "The good news is she can go home."

Josh looked back up at him. "And the bad news?"

"She'll be on bed rest for at least three weeks," the doctor answered. "It doesn't appear as though there's any great danger. There did, however seem to be a problem with the babies."

"What kind of problem?" Josh asked, worried and ready to act. He felt so helpless. He needed to do something. He needed to make her safe.

"Truthfully we have very little idea what happened," the doctor answered a little too honestly for Josh's liking. "Any kind of stress could lead however lead to a miscarriage."

Josh tried to worry up some kind of answer but only failed.

"And if she doesn't start to eat," the doctor mumbled looking at her papers, "she is going to cause damage to her own body as well."

Josh stared at her. This wasn't Donna, she was supposed to be strong. She was supposed to take care of him. He wasn't sure exactly how to look after her, usually she would tell him how.

"I've talked with her physician," the doctor continued. "He and I agreed that the medication wasn't working. I've got a prescription for her, and I recommend some herbal tea."

_Herbal tea?_ Josh thought. "You're not some kind of hippie are you?"

The doctor managed a laugh. "No." He smiled the awkward smile he'd been wearing since yesterday. "Herbal tea should calm her stomach."

Josh thought it all sounded pretty hooky. The doctor left soon after. Josh just sat.

"I think you're doctors crazy," he told her.

She just slept. Josh sighed. How would he know what to do, if she couldn't tell him?

"What are you doing?" Josh yelled when he saw the nurse trying to feed Donna.

"Josh will you calm down," Donna mumbled in a tired tone. She felt achy if anything. She felt like someone how had hurled up their entire set of internal organs. That seemed to take a lot of energy. "She's giving me food."

Josh looked at the nurse with a glare. "I can do that."

The nurse handed Josh the pudding cup. She didn't need to do it, especially if he offered to.

Josh smiled, and began to feed Donna.

"I don't like this," she said as he fed her a spoonful. "I'm supposed to look after you."

"well get used to it,' Josh told her. "You're on bedrest, and there's no way I'm letting you work."

"stupid doctor," she told him. "What doctor prescribes herbal tea!"

Josh just smiled. He was too happy for words. Donna was okay. The babies were going to be okay. God if there weren't people around, Donna mainly, he would probably start dancing a male dance of pride.

Donna had long ago made the decision to move into Josh's apartment. This seemed to be a semi-perfect time. Having to mop around for days, weeks, seemed like a pretty good time to sloth over to Josh's bachelor apartment. She had been living there already, going home only every so often to get new clothes.

She wasn't sure how Josh would manage work. If he had been distracted before this seemed as good a time as any for him to explode. They decided to put off telling their parents, at least for a few days.

She didn't go back to work. She didn't talk to anyone from work. Josh was worried about her; he didn't want her to fall into a maze of depression. But he saw her smile more, and when she yelled, which seemed less often, he knew it was only because she was irritated, not angry or full of rage. She felt happier.

She didn't completely mind spending days in bed or in front of the television. But after about three days she couldn't help but feel huge. She tried not to imagine how she would look and feel further down the road.

She never got lonely. Josh called her practically every five minutes. Not always because he missed her, usually because he was completely oblivious to the dynamics of his work place.

"Hey Donna," Josh said on the phone. "No, nothings wrong I just thought I'd give you a call."

"You don't need anything do you?" Donna asked. Josh had been calling her on intervals by the hour. She had to take at least two more weeks off, mainly staying in bed. Josh didn't like the temp or maybe he just made up excuses to call her. She wasn't sure how Josh would handle her time off, let alone if she had to leave.

"No," he replied. "I was just looking at some things today, and I was wondering if you might want to look at them with me."

"What are you talking about?"

He sighed and looked at the papers in front of him. "Well you gave up... you pretty much gave up you're apartment three weeks ago."

"I promised my roommate I'd pay the months rent but yeah," she told him. "We talked about this, Josh. You haven't changed your mind have you?"

"No. No," Josh told her, holding one of the papers up. "I was just wondering if maybe... you might... you know... want to look at something else?"

"What?" she asked genuinely confused.

"I was just," Josh tried again. Suddenly C.J. appeared at his door, "Donna can I call you back?"

"Sure," she replied knowing that someone had just walked in, still completely confused. "I love you."

"I love you too," Josh said and hung up the phone.

"How is she?" C.J. asked him.

Josh looked at her with tilted eyes. "What's up?" He didn't want to talk about how Donna was with the staff, not even with his friends. He didn't see it as particularly right, and it wasn't fair. Donna didn't want to talk with them, and he respected that.

"We have a meeting."

Josh looked at his watch and began to rise from his chair. He grabbed some folders from the edge of his desk and followed C.J. out into the hall.

"What was that all about, on the phone?"

"Can I ask you a question?" Josh began as they paced towards the Communications Office. He felt he should prepare himself this time. No surprises to come, no secrets to be kept. Plus maybe knowing C.J.'s answer as both a woman and a professional would help him judge Donna's response.

"Shoot."

"Do you... see Donna's pretty much moved into my apartment now... and if... do you..." he stumbled through his words.

C.J. looked at him. "You want to move to a house?"

"How did you guess?" Josh asked, confused and awed.

"I know everything," C.J. told him. She smiled to herself, she had seen the papers on his desk. It didn't take a genius to deduce what Josh was planning. "Do you want to know what I think?"

"Yeah," Josh sighed as they pulled towards Sam's office.

"I think you should do it," she said.

Josh was a little surprised. He had never imagined that C.J. would let Donna move in with him. But then maybe their making it a thing was what would make it a thing. Still he wasn't sure if C.J. really meant it.

"Do what?" Sam asked as he pulled out of his door to meet them.

"You ready?" Josh asked.

"Yeah," Sam told him holding up folders as though to metaphorically represent his state of mind. "Do what?" he repeated.

"Donna and Josh are going to buy a house," C.J. told him.

"No we aren't," Josh began. "I haven't even asked Donna what she thinks."

"But she'll say yes," Sam told him.

Josh smiled. "I don't know." He really didn't.

They entered the Roosevelt room. They sat down across from three other eager faces. Josh tried to pull his mind into the meeting.


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I do not own these beauties.

Author's Note: Umm enjoy… next chapter is so much better. But HAHAHAHAHAHA you have to wait. He.

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"Hello?" his voice bellowed when he got home.

There was a silence, no returning call.

"Hello?" he tried again. "Donna?"

No one answered.

Quickly he left his things at the front door. Panic ceased his heart.

"Donna? Where are you?"

He managed to find her in his bedroom. She was fast asleep, dreaming. He walked over to her and brushed lose hairs from her face.

She started at his touch. He hadn't wanted to wake her but now her eyes were staring up at him.

"Hello," she whispered. She began to sit up. "What time is it?"

"Around eight," Josh began as he took a slow seat at the edge of her feet.

She stretched. "Have you eaten?"

He shook his head. "You?" She should have eaten and he was fully prepared to get angry with her if she hadn't. Then again it was very hard to get angry with Donna when she looked so sweet.

She shook her head, and smiled. "I wanted to wait for you. I guess I fell asleep."

"How are you feeling?" Josh said with a sigh. He carefully placed his hands on her feet.

"I've felt better," she said stretching out her neck. "But then again I've felt worse."

Josh leaned forward and kissed her forehead. "I'm sorry."

She looked at him. "Why are you sorry?"

"Well I got you pregnant," he started.

"Don't take all the credit," Donna told him.

He gave a slight laugh. "What do you want to eat?"

They wandered into the kitchen. Donna sat down on the couch, eating ice cream, peanut butter and a giant pickle. Josh really didn't care as long as she was eating. Josh ate left over lasagna, or at least he thought it was some kind of spaghetti. He sat down on the opposite side of the couch and pulled out some work while she snuggled down into the cushion and watched the news.

She tilted her head and looked up at him. Her feet wiggled close to him and he looked up. "Why'd you call this morning?"

He stopped reading his folder, and put it down on the table before him. "I was just wondering..." he stopped. _Why is this so hard to ask?_

She smiled and waited for him to continue. "That's about as far as you got the first time." She laughed quietly.

"I was wondering if you wanted to start looking at a house," Josh asked.

She turned and gave him her attention. "Which house in particular?"

"Just houses," he told her.

"How long have you been thinking about this?"

"A few years."

She kicked him.

"Owew," he yelped as he flinched. He smiled. "What! It's true."

She kicked him again.

"Hey," he started. "I was expecting this to be hard but this is starting to become a little ridiculous."

She wanted to kick him again but held back. "Sure." She turned back to the television.

"Sure?" he repeated.

"Hey," she responded slowly slanting her head to look at him again. She smiled when he made no response and turned back to the news.

After a brief moment Josh took up his work again.

"See I don't know what that means," Josh cried after the lull had become a silence.

Donna turned to look at him. "It means yes Josh. Let's look for a house."

"Really?"

"A nice big one."

"You sure?"

"With a nice yard."

"Okay then," Josh said knowing if he continued she would start to rant. She crawled across the couch and put her head on his leg. She spread out across the couch, resting her head on his leg. Josh carefully took his folders up and continued to read. He'd never felt happier, for once in his life he felt like something was totally and utterly perfect.

After about three weeks of staying at home Donna began to grow weary and a little insane. She practically yelled at Josh every time he called, though faithfully it didn't stop him. She shouted at the television, and promptly told Josh one night that it was the only real conversation she had.

She tried to keep up with work but Josh tried his best to move her motives away from stressful situations. She read about three hundred books before throwing one violently against the wall, leaving a rather large mark. When she wasn't bored she slept or ate.

After three weeks she felt a little homicidal.

"Josh Lyman?" he answered the phone one afternoon.

"Hey," she began. "I was just calling to talk with Sidney."

"What and you didn't want to talk to me?" he asked pretending, quite weakly a saddened tone.

"I wanted to know you're schedule for Friday."

"Why?" he asked sharply not giving her his total attention, looking over the folders on his desk.

"We go see the doctor Friday," she told him sharply, obviously irritated.

"The day after tomorrow?"

"Yes Josh!" she yelled. "Friday. You know the doctor; for the ultrasound, so I can go back to work!"

"Oh...that doctor's appointment," he said sarcastically but gently. "I don't know if this is the best time to mention it but I am very excited about _that_ doctor's appointment."

"Josh!" she yelled, disgusted by his tone however sweet.

"I think," he continued. "That you might be a little more excited than I am."

She calmed herself down, taking slow breaths, literally counting to ten.

"Ten," she said slowly and gave out a long breath.

"Anyway," Josh continued after pausing for her to finish. "I checked off the time so don't worry." He was sure he heard her sigh in relief. "Hey, shouldn't we sign up for pre-natal classes or something?"

She didn't want to have this argument now. She didn't want to tell him that he wasn't allowed to go. She wanted to stay calm.

"The doctor signed me up a week ago," she told him slowly.

"Oh good," he told her lightly.

She didn't want to continue. She didn't want to tell him he wasn't coming.

"I'm going to take a friend along," she tried to begin.

"A friend!" Josh shouted and questioned her meaning.

"Yes a friend," she told him. "I'm sure I can find one to come."

"Donna if you are now referring to me as your friend then I wish you would have told me that before I started looking at potential homesteads."

"No, I... did you just say homestead?"

"Yeah," he replied sheepishly.

"I just don't think it would be appropriate for the Deputy Chief of Staff to be taking his assistant to pre-natal classes..."

"Donna there is no way I am not coming."

"Oh yes there is."

"Donna!"

"And what are the newspapers going to say. Reporters will find out and we're not ready to go public, not that it's anyone's business. But you're in enough trouble with Senior Staff and their not even talking to me yet. So would you please just for now humor me and say you're alright with a friend coming instead."

Josh sighed. "Donna you shouldn't do this alone. I don't want you too."

"Right," she told him. "And I won't be alone. I'll have..."

"A friend," he interrupted.

"Yes."

He tried to smile, even though she couldn't see him. He wavered in the silence that was growing and didn't even bother to breath. Then he tried his best to continue without causing Donna to scream or yell or rant at him for only wanting to be a good father.

"Well I'm free on Friday," he told her.

"Okay." She waited for him to speak. He didn't. "Are you going to be late tonight?"

"I don't know," he told her frankly and detached. "I'll give you a call."

"Okay."

"Love you," he muttered while now pacing through files.

She knew he was upset. She knew it was her fault. "I love you too."


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I don't own them. I want them. O how I wan them.

Author's Note: Oh how I want to dance with somebody. I want to feel the heat with somebody… god what has happened to me… nevermind… here's a new chap… enjoy.

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Josh went to see Leo that afternoon. He was upset. He was more than angry. Not at Donna, he tried hard to blame her but he couldn't. He was angry with the Staff. He was angry with the world. He was angry with himself.

"Leo we are going to have a problem," Josh told him flatly when he entered the office. Margaret softly closed the door and Josh continued. "C.J. says..."

"I heard," Leo told him.

There was a lull. Josh stared at Leo as he read over some papers. He felt the tension boiling up. He had to say something.

"Leo I can't keep doing this," he said with a raised voice.

"Doing what?" Leo asked passively.

"I can't keep jumping over the road blocks. I can't keep arguing over and over again with Toby and C.J. about when the best time to announce would be and I don't want my marriage to become part of public relations..."

"Have you even asked her yet?" Leo asked him interrupting his enraged rant.

Josh stopped. "No I have... I've thought about it... but I mean it's just to soon... she'd think I was crazy... my point was..." he said getting back on message. "I'm not a story Leo. We're not a problem."

Leo looked straight at Josh. He had been trying to avoid speaking with him directly for a long time. He felt happy for them; he felt they were family. But he was too angry to talk to him.

"Josh the sooner you realize this is a problem the better," Leo began. "What you do is a reflection of the President..."

"What I do is a reflection of me," Josh told him forcefully. "Not to mention it's no one else's goddamn business!"

"Oh for God's sake Josh," Leo began in an irritated tone. "When has it ever been their business? I'm not worried about how it will make you feel. You are a visible member of this administration. They always think it's their business. You know that!"

"Why the hell do you think I didn't say something sooner!" Josh finally yelled. "You know I wasn't worried about how the American Public was going to take it. I was worried about how people here would take it."

"Josh you're held to a higher standard. You knew that when you took the job."

"Well you know I might not be for long," he threatened. "And when has it been morally wrong to have a committed relationship with another person?" He shouted violently acting out his rage. "I'm telling you now Leo, that if something doesn't change around here I won't be here for very long."

"Josh?" Leo sighed not taking him seriously.

Josh backed out the room and opened a door. "I can't... I have a thing now." He sounded calmer, but he was staring straight at Leo. He meant everything he had said.

"Okay," Leo said calmly. It was something that had to be dealt with. But at the White House there were any number of things that had to be dealt with. "We'll talk more later."

Josh left the room nearly slamming the door. Leo stood for a moment a look of anger on his face, he would have yelled but he managed to swell up his rage by mindlessly punching his desk.

No one from the Senior Staff had called Donna when she got home from the hospital. The President had managed to give her a call, which both alarmed and humbled her. Leo had sent her a card, one that Margaret had obviously signed. Toby had been the only one to send word through Josh, and some nice flowers.

She hadn't felt hurt. She knew what they must have been thinking. She had thought that perhaps she could understand. She tried very hard to understand.

Then she received an afternoon call.

"Hello?" she answered after the second ring.

"Hi Donna," a slow paced voice began. "I wasn't sure if I was going to catch you." There was an obvious note of awkwardness. "I'm not interrupting anything am I."

She almost laughed allowed. "Really Toby I'm sitting on the couch watching C-Span and eating….well I'm not exactly sure what I'm eating."

"Alright then," Toby said and took a short pause. "How are you?" he paused to ask. He was struggling with sentiment. Donna felt like she might cry. She knew Toby to well to see this as a hollow gesture.

"I'm better," she told him slowly. She smiled; sometimes men can just make you feel too good. "How about you?" She felt so dumb asking.

"I'm great," he answered then continued. "I just wanted to check in. Ummm... well... see... there's something going on."

She paused, worried.

"Josh exploded in Leo's office today," he told her.

"Toby he didn't..."

"No," Toby told her. "He's been perfectly fine since. He's not talking to any Senior Staff though. Donna... I..."

She sighed. "I'll try and talk with him Toby."

"You know," he started once more. "I just," he paused, trying very hard to phrase his remarks in the least incriminating fashion. "I just want to apologize for any damage my reaction may have caused."

"Toby," she said in protest. "You're just doing your job."

"That's really not a very good excuse for whatever it is that has been going on," he tried slowly, managing only to fall over his words.

"Well thank you," she told him with courage and a glad tone.

Toby had felt his self-conscious level of suppressed sympathy rising to a height beyond even his own belief. "I'd love to chat more," his tone sarcastic but kind. "But I have work to do."

She wanted to laugh. "I'll talk to Josh."

"Soon please."

"Goodbye."

"Bye."

She hung up. She never thought the sentiment would cross her mind. She had never imagined of all the people and things she might miss about the West Wing this might be one of them. She was pretty sure she actually missed Toby.


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I own them not… ohhh the pain… yes the pain.

Author's Note: Sorry I didn't update sooner. I'm sad. But sooo sooo soo Happy. Right I shouldn't spoil it but watch March 12 you will be happy. Happy.

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His phone rang, and he automatically picked it up. "Josh Lyman."

"What the hell have you been doing!"

He paused for a moment, his ear being blasted by the yelling coming from the other end. "And how are you feeling Donna?"

"Josh?" she paused angry but waiting for an explanation.

"What?" he said in a jesting tone. He was nearly laughing.

She couldn't see the humour in the situation. "You really don't want to force me to come down there."

"What are you talking about?" he asked not paying much attention to what she had said.

She let a tempered sigh escape. "Josh I really couldn't care less if you are mad or even frustrated at whatever the hell you are angry at. Be angry with me. Be angry at whomever the hell you want. But you cannot lash out at the people you work with. If you do you are going to get fired pretty fast."

His mind popped into place when he realized what she was telling him. "Oh you're talking about this morning. How did you find out about that?"

"There are plenty of people there who like me a lot more than you," she told him. Then paused. "What did you do?"

"Well..." he didn't want to tell her.

She sighed. "You have a meeting in five minutes. Just talk to me when you get home. Okay?"

"How do you know that?"

"What?"

"That I have a meeting in five minutes?"

"Josh!"

"Okay, okay," he said. He riffled through some files. "We can continue whatever argument it is we are having later?"

"Yes."

"Love you," he told her slowly pausing and nearly embracing the phone waiting for her response.

"I love you too," she told him quickly. "Now go."

He hung up. Sure he was upset with all his colleagues, all his friends, a little angry with Donna and a hell of a lot more angry with himself. But she loved him, so he couldn't help but smile.

"Josh?" she said when she heard the front door. "Is that you?" She heard footsteps slowly patter. She got up. "Josh?" She heard the front door slam shut. "Josh?" she said a little louder.

She found him standing at the doorway. She didn't know what to say. When she saw the look on his face she couldn't help but believe he was in this much pain. She only wanted him to be happy.

"Josh?" she approached him slowly. He didn't move. She placed a hand at his elbow and put her arm around his back. "What's going on, Josh?"

He turned his head then and looked at her. "Hello." His words were so slow she wasn't even sure he had spoken. "Donna." She stared at him for a moment. She couldn't be sure but he might be drunk.

"Josh are you drunk?"

"Hmm?" he mumbled slowly.

"Are you drunk?"

He looked at her a little offended. Then his look softened. "I wish I were."

She took off his jacket and she walked him over to the couch. He was reaching for the remote when she grabbed his hand.

"Josh what happened today?"

He didn't look at her. "Donna I just... I don't know..."

"Why did you blow up at Leo?" she asked him.

He didn't move. "I was just upset. That's all. I mean... everyone just..."

"Josh," she reached and pulled his face so she could see his eyes. "They are doing their jobs. You knew this would happen. I knew this would happen. If you are angry with me than say it. If you want to have a fight with me then fight with me. But you are only going to throw fuel to fire if you get angry with them for doing their jobs."

He stared into her eyes. He saw pain. He saw agony. There were things within her eyes that she had never told him, that she had never even expressed. "Donna if we are going to do this together... we have to stop caring what they are going to think."

She turned then. "Josh we have to care. That's just how it goes."

"No."

She looked at him then. "No?"

"How can you tell me not to get mad with them when all you do is sit here and stay angry? You tell me that I have to let them do their jobs when I watch every day as you fall further into depression because you can't say you're mad. If you want me to forget why I'm mad at them you have to stop arranging life around what they might think." He was bold. he didn't let her look away. He wanted to get his point across. He knew it was dangerous.

"Well then," she got up off the couch. She mumbled something inaudible as she ventured back to the bedroom.

He managed to get enough courage to follow her. "Donna."

"You know what Josh I don't think this is the best time to start whining," she warned him. She began to look through her dresser.

"Why are you so angry?"

"I'm not angry," she defied in her gentle voice. "You're probably right. I'm just saying that..."

"Saying what?"

"Never mind," she said as she looked through the closet. "I do care what other people think. But not for the reasons you do."

He looked at her, not exactly sure what she was rummaging for.

"You care what those people think because you have something to prove to them," she told him, looking from hanger to hanger. "When you yelled at Leo it wasn't because I had said you shouldn't go to the pre-natal classes... no you had something to prove to him. You wanted to prove that you should go... that you had a right to go... you want to prove to the world that your life is none of their business... And that is extremely dangerous."

He looked at her, crazed. Calmly he asked. "And you?"

"Hmm?" she asked not paying that much attention to him, a little confused.

"You care what other people think because...?"

She turned to look at him for a moment before swinging her head and body in remembrance as she walked past him to the front closet. "I care what other people think," she said as she walked. "Because I don't want to screw this up. I don't want you to lose your job... and I don't want anyone to get ambushed with P.R. problems from the Right... or anywhere else for that matter"

"So you're saying," he remarked as he followed. "That I care what other people think because I have something to prove in my egotistical arrogant way and that you care what other people think because in your selfless gracious way you can't bear to see others get hurt."

She pulled open the doors and pulled out a large box. "Pretty much, yes." She opened it and began to throw different articles of clothing around.

"Well that's complete Bull Shit and what the hell are you doing?" he finally asked.

She looked up at him. "I'm just looking for something."

He got down on his knees so he was on the same level as her. "Donna, it feels like everything that could go wrong has... and that we... we'll never be allowed to..."

"Stop talking like that," she warned him. "We are extremely lucky... And if you want to deal with you're anger... or ego for that matter... wait until you get home... believe you and me I have no problem dealing with you when you're riled up." She smiled and bit her lower lip, keeping her eyes on the boxes.

He looked back at her and laughed. "What about you?"

She began to dig through the box once more. "I think I have proved on more than one occasion that I have no problem getting angry with you."

He wanted to smile. But he had looked into her eyes and he had seen such agony. She was holding back. It wasn't that she couldn't yell or fight, she couldn't tell him why. She kept that locked up.

"You know it's only going to get worse."

She sighed. "Are you going to be there with me?"

He smiled then. He gently took her hand as it looked through the box. "Yes."

She meet his eyes, she felt a little teary eyed. "Then I'll be fine." As she turned her eyes back into the box she found what she was looking for. "Aha!"

She pulled out a pair of booties, small white booties.

"I bought these a few weeks ago," she told him, staring at the things in her hands. "When we first found out I don't know why... I just bought them."

He looked at them, then back at her.

"This is what I am thinking of," she told him. "Everyday this is what I am thinking of."

"A pair of socks?"

She hit his arm. "Josh," she whined.

He laughed.

"I'm thinking of three little babies, and six little feet, and thirty little toes."

"And three little pairs of booties."

She smiled at his sentiment. "So when you say things like if we are going to do this... or that I arrange life around what _they_ think... I just can't help but think of how wrong you are."

He leaned over and softly kissed her. "Thank you."

She laughed and rubbed her nose against his. "So you won't yell at Leo anymore?"

"Are you trying to ruin all my fun?" he laughed.

"You won't yell at Leo because of us?" she pleaded.

He nodded. He kissed her again. He loved her.


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I own some shoes… I have some lips and some fingertips… sorry… right these guys are not mine… but if I had the time… they would be…

Author's Note: Sorry I didn't update quickly. Others shall come up.

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Friday couldn't have come soon enough for Donna. They went to the doctor early in the morning. Donna was nearly jumping for joy. Josh was laughing at her.

But Donna left the doctor's office a lot less happy then when she had entered it.

"Stupid doctor," she mumbled. "What does he know?"

Josh didn't say anything but opened the car door for her.

"Can you believe him!" she shouted when he took his place in the drivers seat. "He actually said…. Did you hear him?... he said that I can't go back to work…. Is he crazy."

"It's just for a few more weeks," Josh ventured dangerously.

"A FEW WEEKS!" she yelled. "He's crazy. We have to get a new doctor."

"He's _your_ doctor," Josh mumbled.

"Well I want a new one," she told him. "One who will tell me that I can go back to work and that I don't have to sit at home and eat leftovers and watch television."

"He didn't say that," josh interrupted.

"Well it sounded like he did," she pouted.

"He said you should get out and go for short walks. But you need to avoid stress, and work is stressful."

"Being at home for hours is stressful." She crossed her arms and leaned back in her chair.

"He said you could go driving," Josh began. "You should go house hunting."

It was a decent idea, though he had really only said it to give her some idea aside from killing their doctor. She didn't like it, at least not immediately. She ranted for the entire ride home. She had expected to go to work, and she was furious that she would have to spent two maybe three more weeks in Josh's stupid apartment.

He left her, making sure all the knives were locked up, taking the doctors address and business card with him. He figured she could find the hospital easily enough but at least this was he had done his best.

She didn't go and sit in front of the t.v. or read a book. She went completely insane and she did the unthinkable. She called someone.

"Hello?" came the response on the other end.

"Do you think my job is stressful?"

There was a pause.

"Well working with Josh, and the long hours, with Josh. Yes I'd call that stressful," he was being funny. She liked that. "You can't come back to work?"

"No," she tried not to scream. "What am I supposed to do for a few more weeks?"

"We could farm out phone calls," he said logically. "I mean that's not stressful, I don't think. I don't do phone calls often."

She laughed. "That sounds perfect."

"What did Josh say?"

"He said I could go house hunting," she said irritated. "Sometimes he's such a girl."

She thought she heard something like laughter.

"I'll have Bonnie fax over some stuff," he told her quickly.

"Thanks," she told him quietly. "I really mean it Toby thanks."

"I'll talk to you later," he said calmly.

"That'd be great."

She never thought it would happen, but she was glad it had. There was still someone who could understand, even sympathize. She was glad Toby was such a good friend.

"Hello?" she answered the phone.

"HEY!" Josh yelled. "Who have you been talking to?"

"What?" she mumbled distracted by some papers on the desk.

"Everytime I tried to call the phone was busy," he whined.

"Oh," she said realizing that maybe the jig was up, and it hadn't even lasted three days. "Sorry, why were you calling?"

Josh forgot about his question and remembered his purpose. "I was just thinking that we haven't talked to our parents yet."

"Oh," she said trying to sound distracted but really feeling like she needed to change the subject again. "That thing."

"Yeah," Josh replied. "I thought maybe we should talk about, I don't know actually doing it."

Donna fiddled with the pen in her hand and let out a sigh. "I was thinking…" she stopped; maybe it was one of those things she shouldn't mention.

"What?"

"That we could you know not do it…" she paused and waited for his answer.

"Ummm…." Josh paused. "Why?"

"Cause you know…" she paused. She was having a hard time to justify it to herself. It was even harder to justify to him. "I don't want to."

"Yeah," he said after a moment. "I don't think that's a really good idea."

"Well my parents are all ummm… well they are a little… Oh for gods sake my parents still think I am a virgin."

Josh tried not to laugh. He wasn't sure why he found it so funny, but it was Donna, she was pregnant with triplets, definitely not a virgin. "Right well, they're little fantasy world will kinda shatter when we tell them."

"Josh," Donna huffed. She got up and started to pace.

"What!" he said. "Donna we have to tell them."

Donna mumbled at him. "Josh they are not going to be happy."

"They're parents Donna," Josh told her. "They're not always what we think they are."

"It would just be easier if we were…" she paused and let the unspoken word hang in the air.

"I thought you wanted to wait," Josh responded suddenly alert. "I thought you didn't want to do it because of…"

"I didn't…"

"And now?"

"I still… I still don't want to do it for those reasons," she told him. "But I… you know… It's just hard Josh."

"Why?" He hadn't ever understood the entire situation with Donna's parents, she didn't talk about them all that much.

"It's just new to me… telling my parents I'm going to be a parent."

Josh sighed suddenly thinking of the reality. "Oh my God Donna!" he said excited. "We're going to be parents."

She rolled her eyes for a second. But she had stopped pacing. She realized that her hand had gone subconsciously to her tummy. "I know. It's so unbelievable, so exciting." She rubbed her belly. She was a mommy. Now all she needed was the courage to tell that to her mommy without crying.


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: I own not this creators of dark flesh, o how I wish I did. I know that most of my fantasies are going to be played out, but yes…. If I owned them…. I would do it better.

Author's Note: Please don't hate me for the things I do to you. Sorry I haven't updated, life has been on the crazydom… I'm actually typing this message on less than two hours sleep… I am about to find a warm place to curl up and die before I… die… of lack of sleep… so yes enjoy… and don't hurt me please.

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Donna had expected her family to be upset by her pregnancy. She had hoped they would be happy for her. When they told her that they wouldn't support her she hadn't ignored her rage or hurt. She had told them, yelled at them across the phone line and then promptly hung up.

Josh had stared at her. "You Okay?"

She was crying. "God Josh. I just..." she looked at him with tears in her eyes and a quivering lip. She stomped her foot. "Aghh..." she cried.

He approached her slowly and began enveloped her in a soft embrace. "Shhh..." he hushed her and softly calmed her with touch and sound. "Don't worry."

At that moment, she decided not too. It wasn't any longer about the world, it wasn't about who would think what. It had become solely about her and her children. The life that she was going to have didn't need anyone who couldn't love and support her.

The phone call with Josh's mom was a little easier.

"Hello?"

"Hey mom," Josh began. "How are you?"

"Josh? I'm fine. Why are you calling?"

"What a son can't call his mother?" he asked a little embarrassed he didn't call more often. Donna looked at him a little angry, this wasn't the best time to be joking around or beating around the bush. "No mom I know." He looked at Donna worried. "There was actually a really big thing that I have to tell you. No don't worry. See... Mom... Six months ago I started to see someone... Mom, mom please just let me talk for a moment... Actually I started a relationship with Donna... Yes mom Donna..." Josh smiled then. "Thank you... but there is a little more... mom... yes she's here... mom!"

Josh removed the phone from his ear, rubbing his eyes in mock frustration. "She wants to talk to you," he said as he handed her the phone.

"Hello?" Donna began taking the phone with a smile. "Well thank you... no... there was actually a little bit more to the story that Josh didn't get out... yes... I see... I'm very glad to hear that... The thing is we're pregnant and I know that we should have told you a while ago. We were just worried and we were just waiting. And I just have to say that we are very happy and would be very happy without the child and... yes... I see... thank you..." she was laughing a little. "It's been about eight weeks now... We've been looking at houses... no... I'm actually going to have three... Yes, triplets!" she faintly shouted.

Josh who had been staring at her with a wide smile now jumped. They hadn't told anyone they were having triplets. He was a bit startled.

Donna only kept talking. She was looking into his eyes and sharing the love and sheer terror of the moment with him. Maybe it was best they had told his mother first, it certainly seemed appropriate.

"Well we haven't really talked about it, no... well I would assume that he... I don't think I could do that... yes... but please... good."

Josh's mother was shocked but in a good way. She had been wondering when they would be getting together, and she had always wanted grand-children. She had pressed Josh to "marry that girl already!" Josh had told her he would try his best.

When they were finally done passing the phone back and forth, the speakerphone feeling a little too impersonal, when they finished discussing their world and new life with Josh Lyman's mother, they returned to each other.

Donna was crying again, but she was happy. She let Josh kiss her and she kissed him back.

_God how did I get this lucky?_

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That night Donna sat at the ceiling staring. She was trying to think of life, of all the things they would have to do. She hadn't planned for things to move this fast, then again she guessed all that waiting had made her rush. She knew Josh was the person she wanted to be with forever she just could help but feel the timing was completely jinxed.

"Josh?" she whispered, and looked over at him.

His eyes were closed breathing lightly.

"Josh?" she whispered again.

She stared at his silent face for a few minutes. She lifted her hand and ran it through his hair. She smiled to herself and kissed him lightly on the lips. Instinctively he returned it.

"Josh," she said still in a whisper. "Will you marry me?"

"Hmmm?" he mumbled without opening his eyes but shifting in the bed.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Nevermind." She gave him another kiss. "Go back to sleep."

Still sleeping he reached around her and pulled her closer. She liked feeling close to him. He was warm, soft. She hadn't really ever felt as safe as she did when she was with him. She hadn't ever felt as happy as when she was with him. She knew there were a million things that needed to be sorted out before she rushed any further but something inside of her wanted to shake him awake and ask the question again.

She suppressed whatever feeling it was she was having and kissed his check. "I love you Joshua Lyman."

"I love you too," he stuttered before he started to snore.


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: I own them not… but how I would dance if I did… it would be such a joyous dance… angels would sing… harps would play… the heaven's would open… but alas… sigh

Author's Note: I haven't forgotten you… I just had some life… life is kinda sucky… haha…

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"Hey are you coming in today?" Josh mumbled as he got dressed.

Donna, who was having some trouble with the new pair of jeans she had bought only a week ago, glared at him. She leaned back on the bed and tried to do the pants up. "Argh!" she yelled. "Nothing fits anymore!"

Josh stared, fearing his doom was approaching. He looked quickly for his exits. He quickly decided the window was out of the question, but Donna was between him and the door. He was trapped.

"Well you are pregnant," he said trying to fill the void.

She sat up and glared at him.

Josh put up his hands as though he were defending himself. "I mean to say is your… pregnant… with triplets… so it's amazing that your clothes fit for as long as they did… I mean…" Josh looked quickly at the door then back at Donna.

She crossed her arms. "Josh."

"Yes?" he said using the meekest voice he could manage.

"Shut up."

Josh just nodded.

Donna took off the pants and went back to her drawers. "I'm coming in around lunch."

"Hmm?" Josh mumbled not quite remembering what question she was answering.

"Lunch… noon…"

"Right," Josh said. "You going to stop in and see anyone?"

She didn't even make the effort to turn and glare at him again. "I've got some things to drop off to Toby and I wanted to say hello to Margaret."

Josh let out a brief sigh.

Donna turned around in frustration. "You know if I didn't find you mildly amusing I would kick you out right now."

Josh smiled. He wasn't exactly sure what he had done wrong, but he never really knew. "Well that's what first attracted you to me," he told her as he tried to do up his tie. "The school boyish charm and wit."

Donna huffed and went back to the drawer. She pulled out a skirt and headed towards the bathroom. "And here I was thinking it was your arrogance and good looks."

Josh nodded and followed her. As she tried to put on her skirt and put up her hair he brushed his teeth. She stopped for a moment and stared at him.

"You know the novelty of romance wears off when you realize who you've fallen for."

Josh smiled at her through the mirror. "But it's too late after that. You've been trapped by their allure." He spat and looked back up at her. "Did I trap you with my wiles and wit?"

Donna laughed. "So you've tricked me into loving you?"

Josh nodded.

"And one day the spell is going to break, and I'll start screaming because I'll have no idea who the strange man is in my bed?"

Josh shook his head. "Well no, that would be amnesia."

"Well you better pray I don't get hit on the head anytime soon." She smiled at him and exited, heading towards the kitchen. "Who knows," she continued, yelling so he could hear her. "Maybe Sam has a plan to over throw you as my lover."

Josh entered the kitchen. "Sam doesn't seem like the _Jesse's girl _type." He saw her smile and give a silent nod. "Then again what man could resist you?"

"Compliments will get you nowhere!" she said handing him a muffin.

He started to get a coffee mug. She grabbed it from him.

"You're withholding coffee?" Josh whined.

She shook her head. "You have to get going."

Josh looked at his watch. His eyebrows shot up quickly. "Right," he mumbled in agreement. He kissed her on the cheek and headed for the door.

"Josh!" she said, watching him put on his shoes.

"What?" he mumbled.

She threw keys at him. "You're not that late."

Josh grabbed the keys and put them down. "I was going to let you take the car."

"Why?" she asked completely confused.

"Well my car is more comfortable," he mumbled. "And I don't know how to drive your death-mobile. I was going to walk."

She shook her head. "Don't be an idiot. I'll walk. You drive."

He lifted his head from his shoes to protest.

She crossed her arms and glared.

"Right," Josh said and picked up the keys. He walked back over to her and gave her another kiss. "I'll see you at noon."

She smiled and kissed him on the lips. Then she pushed him off. "Now go!"

Josh smiled and left.

Donna watched him go out the door and listened to him walk down the hall. She had always thought she had been the one to trap him. She laughed at herself. Who was she kidding? Of the two of them she was definitely more attractive.


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: I own them not. Oh…. How sad… because if I had I would have made the finale have so much more closer… CLOSER… I wanted it… sigh… wait I was saying something… right not mine…

Author's Note: Hahaha…. I didn't ignore my duties…. No…. READ… cough

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Donna stumbled into the hallway of the West Wing. She hadn't missed the place. She had found a life that didn't belong to it. Sure, she hadn't ever really gone house hunting, and she had been making call-backs for Toby and had been doing as much work as she could secretly do without Josh finding out, which by coincidence was quite a bit, but really her perspective had changed.

She wasn't going to be Miss Donnatelle Moss who worked as Josh Lyman's Assitant but she was going to be Donna… possibly Mrs. Donna… something or other… She was going to be a mom, and the lord would save her if she trapped herself in the position of low-level staffing. Returning to those walls gave a sense of tranquility, bringing her back to her centre. She knew finally that she could return and be part of it once again.

She wanted to start working part time. Not with Josh so much as taking Toby up on an offer she didn't think she could turn down. She'd still be able to to stay close to Josh, and she barely knew how much body-checking he would do to keep her safe. But today she wasn't coming in to work.

There was a reception in the Residence, and for whatever reason she could manage to think of she was going. She just had to be there. She had to reconcile herself with that world, before she could return. She had to talk with everyone she had been avoiding, and she had to face things she had been avoiding. She just didn't like to think it was such a big problem.

She wandered to Josh's office. He wasn't there. She didn't want to go and find people; she just wanted to stay there, in safety.

_Okay, Donna you can't stay here; don't be foolish,_ she thought, trying to search her mind for a place to belong. _I guess I'm hungry… I'll go to the Mess and wait for him._

Donna had been hungry for a long time. She had discovered new and obscured tastes, which she usually revisited later in her day. Still she had gotten better at holding things down, she couldn't stand to eat cheese and for some reason grapes were totally out of the picture.

_It's just the mess,_ she told herself. _What the hell is wrong with you Donnatella!_ She yelled at herself silently. She looked at her hands they were shaking and she felt her knees for weak._ You are a strong woman. You can go eat lunch. You can do that by yourself._

She turned around from Josh's office and began her walk down the halls towards the mess. "Hey Sidney," she said to the young woman who was sitting at her old desk.

"Hi Donna," she said with respect and affection. "I didn't know you were coming in today."

Donna nodded. "If you see Josh can you tell him I went down to the Mess."

"Sure thing," she responded and turned back to her work.

Donna avoided the people who might try and talk to her. She just walked determined, trying her best to get to the mess. _Lunch. Lunch. It's just Lunch._ She repeated it over and over in her mind, almost singing it.

She was 18 weeks pregnant with triplets, and she had a belly to go with it. No one in the West Wing would mistake her for anyone else. She looked romantically fair and she was silently untouchable.

She paced herself down the halls and down the stairs. She was fine. No need to think that Sam had been a total jerk to her, barely even acknowledging she existed. No need to remind herself that she hadn't talked to C.J. in a couple of months. There was no point in reliving all the negative things.

She stepped into the Mess. Her heart pounded and she was ready to turn and run. She felt like all eyes were looking at her, though she knew pretty well no one was paying any attention to her. She felt like she was an outcast, if she had to sit down she'd be alone. Not that she wanted to sit with anyone. But somewhere deep inside she knew that she couldn't really face this the way she wanted to.

_Oh dear God,_ she told herself. She tried to avert her eyes, use her body language in any way shape or form to stop the encounter from occurring but it was too late. _Please don't Sam… I can't even think of…_

"Hi Donna," he said with a cheerful smile.

"Hi Sam," she said quietly. She took a tray and began to place whatever food she could find onto it. She did it with aggression, almost with violence.

There was a brief and awkward silence, extending just a little too long.

"How have you been?" he asked.

She took a sharp breath but contained herself. "Fine, thank you."

Sam followed her to her seat and waited in the silence. "So…" he tried to begin. "Are you coming in to work?"

She shook her head. "The Residence."

"Ahh…" Sam said and fell silent. He opened his mouth to start again.

"You know what Sam," Donna began after she swallowed some pudding. Waving her spoon at him she continued. "We don't need to do this."

"Really?" Sam said with wonder. "Because I kinda thought that maybe I could…"

"I don't think you even have the right," She said interrupting him before he could finish. He had said some hurtful things the last time they had spoken. It had been a brief conversation, but he had come close enough to calling her a whore that she just hung up. She didn't answer his calls after that. And when he tried to come see her at the apartment she went to the bedroom and told Josh to 'get rid of him'. In the state she was in Josh thought maybe it was more of a death threat than a kindly suggestion to scram. "We were friends Sam. But you ruined that. I don't know where you think you get the right."

Sam looked almost cross eyed. Donna took another spoonful of her pudding acting as though nothing had occurred out of the ordinary.

"Donna I never…" he tried to begin. "I'm sorry… I didn't mean what I said that day."

She shook her head and waved a hand. "That doesn't matter anymore," she said taking another spoonful making him wait. She swallowed and continued. "You think I don't know. You were trying to convince him to leave me. You wanted to get me out of the way. I thought I knew you better than that Sam, but really I was shocked." She stood up and glared down at him. "You were doing all the wrong things for all the wrong reasons."

Sam looked at her gapping. She adjusted her skirt and sat back down slowly.

"I don't know how you think you have the right Sam," she started again. She stared at her pudding, as though realizing what she had just said. She wasn't sure if she was completely terrified or proud.

"Donna," Sam sat softly reaching for her hand.

She pulled away slowly. "Sam," she sighed. Quietly she continued. "I know what was happening… and I know why… I just don't see how you can do that and expect…" She didn't think she had it in her to cry or even try. "I just don't think I can trust you the same way Sam."

A silence fell between them. Sam, not really sure what had happened; Donna, trying to figure out if she really had meant it all; and a large bowl of pudding, lumped waiting and holding the silence within.

"Hey guys," Josh's wary voice suddenly interrupted the scene.

Donna looked up at him slowly. "Hey," she mumbled standing up to kiss his cheek. She waited for him to smile before she carried on. "I wanted to see Toby before we…"

"Sure…" Josh told her.

She left quickly.

"What happened?" Josh asked Sam.

Sam stood up, still bewildered. "If I haven't said it before Josh, I'm sorry." He grabbed his papers and started to walk.

"What happened?" Josh asked again as he followed.

"I just don't think…" Sam stopped himself. He laughed and tried to say what he really felt as simply as possible. "She's an amazing woman Josh. Don't ever let her go."

"Wow," Josh said still walking.

Sam looked over at him not sure what he meant.

"Well really," Josh explained. "Those words sounded so final."

Sam shrugged. "So?"

"Well we've got to walk back to your office…"

"And?"

Josh smiled and shrugged. "I thought maybe the silence would seem…"

"Peaceful?" Sam interjected.

"Awkward."

Sam gave a soft laugh. "Really Josh," Sam tried to tell him. "Were you trying to add filler?"

Josh smiled. "That's not my job. You're the writer."

Sam walked into his bullpen while Josh marched down the hall to his own. Sam hadn't explained what had happened, but he had a vague idea. Maybe it was better if she did it alone, faced them alone. He didn't want that though, he wanted to keep her safe.

"Hey," he said when he saw her laying on the floor behind his desk. "What are you doing?"

She looked up at him, not crying but near it. She laughed. "You need a couch."

He sat down on the floor next to her. She lifted her head and put it on his leg.

"You sure you want to do this?"

She sighed. "It's time we tell them." He stroked her hair, trying to calm her down. He could sense something; he knew she wasn't feeling quite right. "I'm sure. We have to do this." Still no matter how much he tried to shelter and take care of her, he knew somehow she would always be okay.


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: I don't own them.

Note from the Author: Right so I don't think this is the strongest chapter to return on but I need to put it in there… I guess. New ones will appear quickly…er than before. I apologize for not updating but until now I was not capable.

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Around four o'clock a quiet visitor came to see Donna. Donna was sitting at her old desk, looking over some files before Josh's meeting started.

"Donna?" a voice asked barely believing it.

She looked up from her desk. "Oh my god Zoey." She got up slowly. "How are you?" Donna didn't mind talking to this person at all. She was glad to see a smiling face, not that she hadn't seen smiling faces, but they're eyes gave away their malcontent.

"When did this happen?" Zoey asked pointing to Donna's belly.

Donna cocked her eye. "I thought you would have known by now." She almost let out a laugh; it was hard to laugh about it.

Zoey looked at her confused. "Donna, I haven't really been around much. I..."

Donna didn't know what to say. "I thought your parents would have told you." She suddenly felt embarrassed. She felt inferior on a level she had not even thought possible. Disrespecting one of the few people she actually might be able to see face to face, she felt like she was suddenly wrong for being there all together.

"Well they didn't," was all Zoey said. She didn't seem offended so much as surprised.

"Well I'm pregnant," Donna said throwing her hands into the air. "Better let the news out now. But I think there are some people that are starting to suspect."

Zoey laughed softly; feeling maybe a little awkward and trying not to show it.

Donna motioned for Zoey to follow as she quietly walked into Josh's office.

"Hey!" Josh said when he noticed them. He got up and he gave Zoey a hug. "You look good."

"Josh," Donna began interrupting Josh flat out. "Are you as surprised to know as I am that Zoey didn't know about the babies?"

Josh looked at Zoey then back and Donna. "She doesn't know."

"It would appear so."

"What's going on here you guys?"

"Well... Donna's pregnant."

"We've been over that part," she told him with a smirk.

"And well I'm the father," he said casually. He had learnt to say it casually, and though very few people knew it wasn't something they thought they had to keep secret.

"Oh," Zoey said. Zoey let the shock wash over her. Josh smiled in amusement as he so often did when he told people that he "was the father". Suddenly Zoey gave Donna a hug. "That's great congratulations!" She gave Josh a hug in turn.

"Thank you," Josh and Donna said together. They stared at each other, and Josh shrugged. Donna shook her head. "That's just weird," she mumbled with a grin.

Zoey looked from Josh to Donna and back to Josh. "Well isn't there anything else you're going to tell me."

"Like what?" Josh asked not really sure what she was talking about.

"Like how this got started," she told him. Waving her hands she gestured from Donna back to Josh.

"Wow you're really out of the loop."

"Yeah, yeah," she said. "I should go see my father now." She started to back out of the room.

"Are you coming to the thing?"

"Yeah," she remarked slowly. "I'll see you there." She pointed a finger at them. "And I want details."

"You bet." Josh nodded, smiling as though he had just been caught in the act.

Once she had left Donna stood for a moment in Josh's office gazing at the floor. She suddenly looked up, and saw Josh staring at her.

"You have a meeting in five," she told him quickly.

"I know."

There was a sudden and awkward silence. Donna suddenly looked pale, Josh felt his manly worry swell.

"Are you alright?"

She stood and took in a deep breath. "It's just been a while since I've felt of calm. I mean three months ago I went crazy. And then I thought okay this is great, this is good. And now I just remember that feeling. It's not dread or depression, though I've had my share of those. It's that same guilt and anxiety."

He took a step forward to give her an embrace. She let him rest his hands on her arms before sighing. She didn't like feeling weak, it wasn't Donna like.

"I mean but for five minutes ago I thought I was fine. But now..." she started to cry. She couldn't believe she was actually crying at work, in Josh's office. "I just..." she didn't know why she was crying, she couldn't say for sure. She just knew she was and that for some reason it felt nice. "Damn hormones!" she laughed through something close to sobs.

She leaned into him and rested her head on his shoulder. She took a deep breath and took a step back. She wiped off her eyes and let Josh kiss her forehead.

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

She nodded her head.

"Okay," he turned and grabbed some folders from his desk. "Walk me to my meeting."

Donna took a moment and composed herself. The last thing she wanted was to have a crying fit in front of any one else in the building, not that she enjoyed doing it in front of Josh. But she had moved past that stage where she felt she needed to hide herself from him. He was getting it all, not just the good pieces.

She followed him out into the hall and they started to walk. "I don't think we should do it!"

"What?!" Josh asked, looking up at her in surprise. "You just said…"

"Right and…" she looked at him and thought that if she continued speaking she would sound completely insane. "I just… maybe they can all find out… in a couple of months."

"Like when the babies are born?" Josh asked in mockery.

"Yes!" Donna said as though she felt victories.

Josh looked at her with his eyebrows reaching high.

"You were joking?"

"Yeah."

"I mean what are we going to say… o and by the way you all suck and we're having triplets?" Donna said trying to muster rage somehow.

"Right something like that," Josh said with a smile. "But I'd leave out the part where we tell them they all suck."

"Right," Donna said silently.

Josh looked at her, not so much worried but he felt that there was nothing he could do to make her feel that calm feeling again. "We don't have to do this if you don't want to."

She looked away and then looked at him again. "No we should do this." Suddenly she pulled at his sleeve and pulled him into the communications bullpen and into Toby's office. She slammed the door closed.

Toby looked up alarmed at his desk. "What the…"

"Toby I think you should know because you have been very supportive in the current circumstances which might seem difficult being who you are and doing the job that you have to do, and I am sorry that we might have made it more complicated and I know that it might have been difficult for you to do what you did but it was very good of you, so I think you should no."

Toby looked at Josh, who looked at Donna, both men quite astonished at what was going on. "Donna I don't…" Toby began.

"Toby we're having triplets," Donna said cutting him off.

Josh suddenly stepped to her side. "And I'm the father."

Donna looked at him as though he was crazy.

"Okay then," Toby said getting up. He held his eyes averted for a moment, lost in some kind of thought.

"Toby?" Donna suddenly said.

"Yeah?" Toby said looking back at her. He shook his head realizing that he had phased out for a moment. "Congratulations." Toby came over and gave Donna an awkward but genuine embrace, and gave Josh a handshake and a manly pat on the back.

"Right well," Josh said after a brief lull. "I've got a meeting."

"Right!" Donna said.

They both turned and left the room. Toby went back to his work, not all that troubled by what he had just heard, but reflective. As he sat down he mumbled to himself: "They better name one of those kids after me."


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer: I do not own them

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Josh arrived at the party a good thirty minutes before Donna. She didn't want to sit around and awkwardly try to rekindle conversation with the friends she no longer talked to. She didn't want to try and make words with the unfriendly and suddenly unfamiliar people she had once considered close. She told Josh she would arrive after him. They could make their announcement and then she would try her best to escape. Josh didn't fully agree but he wanted to keep her happy.

"Hello there," came a comforting voice. "Now where is that lovely lady of yours?"

Josh smiled and looked at the President. "She said she had something to do..."

He could see the skeptical look arising. He knew that he wasn't very good at lying, let alone trying to make up excuses.

"Really Josh you have to get her to come up and enjoy the party," the President told him.

"She'll be here soon," Josh assured him.

"Josh I can only imagine what you've been going through..."

"No sir, with all due respect you can't," Josh cut him off. "Of all the people we've told you have been the most supportive and understanding. But there is no way you can imagine such a wonderful joy, such a gift. Then watching while it is trampled and destroyed by..." He didn't know what to call it.

The President nodded, and looked away with a depressed and thoughtful glance. "How's Donna been taking it?"

Josh didn't know what to tell him. "She's alone sir." That seemed the best way to put it. "She's not depressed, but for some reason beyond my understanding she can't get angry." He paused. "Do you know what her parents told her? They told her that they couldn't support her. What the hell does that mean? They said that they didn't want to help her. What does that mean? Are they disowning her? Are they saying they won't love her or her children? It drives me insane. But she just won't get mad."

There was a quiet lull.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm sorry," the President told him. Josh was amazed, bewildered.

"Sir there's no reason..."

"Josh for once in your life don't take the high road," the President told him giving him a pat on the back.

"I never thought I had," Josh said with a laugh. The President began to back away. "If you don't mind sir," Josh said regaining his attention. "If you have a moment tonight there is something Donna and I would like to tell you."

He nodded and walked off.

Suddenly Josh saw Donna out of the corner of his eye. He began to walk over to her with a brilliant smile. He walked over to her, noticing very well all the eyes that followed him. He went and took her hand, and very carefully gave her a kiss on the check.

"You ready?" he paused to ask.

"Here goes nothing," she told him.

He took her hand and they walked over to the President. He was talking with Leo, and they paused as the two of them approached.

"Do you have a moment?" Josh asked both men.

"Of course," the President responded. Leo nodded in assurance.

"Well we just thought this would be a good time," Josh began. "A good time to tell everyone, some good news."

Leo nearly frowned. He'd had enough of Josh's good news for a while.

"We didn't tell anyone before because well at the time it just seemed easier not to say anything," Josh continued. Donna gave his hand an affectionate squeeze. "We want you to be the first to know..."

He looked at Donna, brought her hand to his face and kissed it. "We're having triplets."

Both men stared in awe and joy. Their faces grew bright and joyfully smiles escaped their faces. "I don't know what to say. Congratulations!" They quickly received embraces from both men. They laughed themselves, and Donna surprised herself again by letting a few tears drop from her eyes.

"_I just hope everyone else feels that way"._

It didn't take long for them to notice that the entire room had grown quiet, and that all eyes were suddenly upon them. Donna hated this feeling, that whatever she did would be the center of attention and the gossip of the town. Donna caught the look in Josh's eye and somehow she knew exactly what he was thinking. Donna gave a soft laugh and Josh smiled.

"As good a time as any," Donna mumbled.

Josh laughed and they turned to face the room of hoarding eyes and colleagues.

"Excuse me," Josh said only to allude to the fact that he was about to make a short speech. "If we might bother you for a moment." It was the _we_ that caused all unturned heads to suddenly look up. "As most of you already know, Donna and I are expecting." Josh thought about pausing but knew it was best to finish as quickly as possible. "We would just like to announce to you now..." he stopped and looked at Donna. She was smiling; he wrapped his arm around her shoulder. "That we are expecting triplets."

There was a roar of "Congrats!" and "Wows!" that erupted in the room. They were crowded quickly with affection, and with joyfully handshakes and words. Three companions stood to the side and waited for the crowd to subside.

When the excitement had finished and they could see Donna and Josh clearly once more Sam, C.J., and Toby joined them. C.J. gave them quick hugs, only slightly awkward. Sam smiled sincerely and gave Josh a jock-hug and Donna a kiss on the check. Toby looked more sober. Still the twinkle in his eye was a key sign of his feelings. He slowly gave Josh a handshake. Then he stared at Donna, who he had grown closer with in the past months.

"Congratulations!" he told her calmly.

Donna was too surprised to react when she suddenly found that Toby was giving her a hug. She returned it, and looked at Josh who was letting dimples escape his visage. She smiled to and gave Toby a kiss on his beard.

"Thank you," she told him.

She wanted things to feel the same way they did before. Easy, not strained. Then again this was a different feeling, sometimes worse but defiantly better in its unique ways. She wasn't alone, she never would be. She missed different people, and different feelings. But then there were new people, and amazing feelings. Feelings she never thought she would be able to experience. So as much as Donna wished things could go back to the way they were she was glad things had changed.

"I'm going to go," she told Josh about half an hour after that.

Josh turned and looked at her, having only heard her whisper in his ear. "Why? We haven't even eaten yet."

She smiled, there were few foods she could tolerate. She was relatively sure anything that involved meat wouldn't last long. "I know. But I should get home."

She didn't know for sure why she wanted to go. She had planned to leave, on account of feeling awkward. But she hadn't felt like she had expected. She had felt wonderful, she had been embraced.

"I guess I'm just tired," she lied.

"You just took two nausea pills; you won't be asleep for at least eight hours," he retorted.

"Please Josh," she began again. "I just want to get out of here. I want to go home and lie down on the couch, and hope my head doesn't swell to the size of my ankles, which by the way I can no longer see. I want to go home and go to bed."

Josh nodded. "Okay. I'll go with you."

"No," she told him. "Stay, I'll be grumpy but I'll be fine."

He didn't want to stay. He knew she was lying. He had an eerie sense that she was feeling some desperation and anxiety she had felt weeks before. He felt that he shouldn't leave her alone.

"No, it's fine."

"Josh!" she said firmly. "You are staying." It was an order. "I'll go say a quick goodbye and then you can walk me out."

He nodded, not knowing what to add. Before he could say much Donna had left and he found himself talking with the people around him alone half aware that he was actually talking at all.

Donna was glad to be away from that place. She was glad everything had gone so well. Still she didn't know where her emotions were taking her. She thought about Josh. She thought of his smile, the way he made her laugh. She knew she loved him more than she had ever thought possible. She wanted to marry him; she wanted to grow old with him; she wanted him to be her Josh forever.

She paused as she found herself on the couch eating the foods she could manage to smell. What did Josh want? He hadn't really said anything about getting married. He joked about it, but he didn't like to talk about it. She fell asleep thinking about Josh, all the good things and the bad. She fell asleep wondering if all this could just end. Could she wake up and realize the fairy tale was just a dream?

Josh found her there, sleeping on the couch. He looked at her and smiled. She was beautiful, She was Donna. He kissed her forehead and suddenly knew for sure. He was going to be with her forever and he was going to be happy as long as he could love her.


	20. Chapter 20

Donna had never expected Josh to stick around. That's not to say she didn't love him but she had never been very sure how much he loved her. She had felt as though she had let him down, that everything that could go wrong would and he would blame her. But he became so devoted to her that she felt just a little bit guilty for even thinking he might be so vicious.

Then the thought crept into her mind. Maybe he was only staying for the babies, maybe that's what he wanted. It wasn't until about mid October that she realized how much he loved her.

Everyone remarked how happy Donna made Josh. Donna had only smiled, Josh was just that kind of guy. The kind who could be subtly romantic just by smiling, or the kind of man who could be brighten up your day just by saying hello at the right moment. She loved him for those and so many more reasons. To make him happy was a gift in itself.

Then one night she woke up, unable to sleep, the kicking creatures inside her keeping her awake. She had only slept through the night once since she had become pregnant. Usually she just sat in bed and waited for sleep to return, reading something or just thinking of something sharply like a day-dream. On this night was just too much restlessness and irradiation to stay in bed. She got out of bed and begun to pace the room.

Josh had become startled by her absence. "Donna?" he said sitting up.

She looked over at him and just smiled. "Go to sleep." She paced at the end of the bed, back and forth, back and forth.

"Is everything alright?" he asked rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Sorry," she mumbled. "I just can't sleep."

Josh smiled and looked at her. "Can I get you anything?"

"No, no just go back to sleep."

Josh didn't move to lie down but sat up in bed. "If you're awake I'm awake."

"Josh don't be ridiculous," she told him. "You need you're sleep. I won't be responsible for your mood tomorrow, so go to sleep!"

Josh jumped out of bed. "I'm up!" he told her defiantly. "Come on. I'll make you breakfast." This had happened before. Once Donna got out of bed the chances of her getting back in it were improbable. Usually she tried to stay in bed to keep Josh there. Every time she got up she regretted it, he would come too.

"It's three in the morning," she told him, throwing her hands at him as he walked over to her.

He came over and caressed her in an embrace. She had no idea how he did it. He calmed her down with a single touch, a loving word, a silent gesture. She leaned into him, letting him hold her close.

They rocked back and forth. They were dancing.

"Josh," Donna said quietly with excitement.

"What?" Josh asked backing up a little, worried.

Donna turned around and looked him in the eyes. "The babies are kicking."

He smiled and she took his hand and placed it on her stomach.

"Oh my god," Josh sighed. "Is that really...?"

Donna nodded and laughed a little. Josh knelt down to feel more closely.

"Donna it's really..."

She smiled tranquil. Then her face turned serious and her heart began to swell. "Josh," she began. He looked up at her. "What are we doing?"

"What do you mean?" Josh asked looking at her in uncertainty. How often had he been asked that question in the past few months, he was never sure where the conversation was going.

Donna sighed and she slowly turned away from him walking towards the opposite side of the bedroom, and stood in the doorway. She lent on the archway before looking back up at him and beginning, "What are we doing?"

"Donna I don't..." he began taking a few steps towards her.

"I..." she began and put up her hand. "I... Josh we are becoming parents... and I'm five months pregnant... and I don't even know where we stand."

Josh looked at her with a vague understanding. "Donna..."

"You know I love you?" she yelled pushing off against the frame standing firmly on two feet.

Josh nodded and smiled. "I..." he began.

"I don't want you to say it if you don't mean it," Donna continued. "I love you Josh, and just being with you is enough. But I want you to love someone as much as I love you. I would rather see you with someone else and happy then have you stick around and be miserable," she threw her hands in the air as she ranted. "I don't want you to feel like having the babies means you have to stay with me. You can be a father without being with me. I..."

"Donna," Josh interrupted her.

She put a hand up to stop him. "Let me finish," then she paused. She placed her hands on her hips and looked at him. "Well now I've lost my train of thought."

Josh sighed and went to his sock drawer. "I've been waiting to give you this," he told her. "I bought it nine months ago, when I was sure I would need it. I was going to give it to you in two weeks on our _one _year anniversary."

"What is..." she started and took a few steps towards him.

He turned around holding one of those velvet boxes that earrings, and jewelry, and _rings_ came in.

"Is that..." she began and pointed towards his hands. She felt her heart skip a beat. Butterflies were forming in her stomach. She didn't know how he did it.

"Donna I love you," Josh began, as he approached her. "I have loved you for years. I will always love you. And Donna..." Josh said as he got on one knee, opening the box to reveal a ring, "I can't imagine my life without you," he said as he took the ring out of the box and took hold of her hand, holding the ring at the edge of her left ring finger. "Some days you're all I can think about... and though sometimes it can be an inconvenience to be that distracted... I don't think I could enjoy those days anymore... You're the first thing I want to see when I wake up... and the only person I want to kiss before I fall asleep..." He ranted quietly giving the entire speech staring at her hand, and the ring on her fingertips. His voice began to shake and tears began to form in his eyes. "I thought that... I hoped that..."

As much as she had been waiting for this moment, as much as she had wanted it she couldn't help but feel an aching doubt that maybe he was asking out of obligation. She felt like she had trapped him. She felt helpless with emotions and with terror. She stared at the man kneeling before her. She didn't want to wonder. She didn't wan to feel so inconsiderate, so selfish. She wanted him to be in love with her.

"Josh," Donna said softly attracting his eyes upward. She was crying, almost sobbing. He looked at her nearly in agony, she wondered how he might even think she would say no. "Will you marry me?" she mumbled through her tears.

Josh laughed a little. "Yes," he replied.

She smiled, taking a small jump of excitement. He slowly and softly placed the ring on her finger. She laughed and sobbed and smiled. She had never felt more happy. He stood up and she kissed him ferociously. He leaned into the kiss, tasting her tears. She pulled back for breath. He kissed her eyes and her forehead. And for a long moment they just held each other. Rocking back and forth. They were dancing.


	21. Chapter 21

Disclaimer: I own them not… silly little kittens…

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"Josh this is it," Donna said with a smile. She gazed around the room with a sense that… she just knew that it was all right. "I mean look at this place Josh."

He smiled. Sure it wasn't really his taste. Then again he wasn't exactly sure he had taste. Donna had been the one who had 'decorated' his apartment. But she was smiling; he liked to see her smile.

"This place is perfect Josh," Donna said spinning around as she looked from wall to wall. "It's not too big… It's in our price range…." She looked over at him, her gaze of a questioning nature. "What do you think?"

"I like that you like it," Josh said staring at her, not really having an opinion about the place.

"Josh," she whined. "I want you to have an opinion about this place. I want you to give me your input."

Shit, Josh thought. He knew he had said the wrong thing. He looked about the room trying to find something he could give her an opinion about. Anything. He looked at the window. A BACKYARD! Josh thought raising his eyebrows and heading towards the window.

He looked out on the yard. It was… a pile of dirt. Seriously there was nothing there… No grass… Nothing… What kind of place was this? "The yard might need some work," he said, and nearly grabbed his head instantly knowing he wasn't helping himself. She came over and stood beside him. He looked up at her, and smiled. She was so happy. He didn't know how to explain it. She was happy, and that made him happy.

He took her hand and smiling said, "Let's go make an offer." She almost giggled with delight.

Sometimes Donna couldn't stand herself being so moody. One moment she was yelling at Josh, the next she was giggling. One moment she was telling him they should end things, then they were engaged. And that's when Donna remembered. She nearly bounced with joy. Her day seemed perfect. Of course that was when Josh's cellphone rang.

"Hey?" Josh answered his phone in that polite manner that simply embodied his being. "Right umm…" Josh looked over at Donna, the happy look slowly fading from her face. "Right well Toby, can this wait? I'm about to buy a house…" Then he paused, was that a smile lurking back towards Donna's eyes. "Right okay… give me 30 minutes." He hung up the phone not really caring whether Toby thought 30 minutes was too long to wait.

He smiled at Donna. He did that a lot lately. Just smiled. He didn't really say anything, he just stared at her and smiled. Donna looked at him and hoped she could salvage what was left of her perfect day, all 30 minutes of it.

After negotiating an offer, (Josh explaining very clearly that he absolutely needed to have the house, the real estate agent feeling more scared of Josh's desperation than a need to squeeze out a deal), Josh drove Donna home. "D'you think you can come in for lunch?"

Donna realized he wasn't really asking. She didn't know what he had up his sleeve and she wasn't sure she wanted to know. They had decided to wait to tell everyone about the engagement. They felt they would be a calling any more attention towards their relationship if everyone knew they were planning a wedding. They would rather wait until the babies were born to fall under that kind of stress. Donna felt worried now that maybe some branch of family values had gotten to Josh. She wasn't sure she wanted to know what he had planned.

"Why?" she asked, giving him an inquisitive look.

He shrugged, "Just thought I'd ask."

She gave him a half nod.

That afternoon however Donna didn't come in for lunch but ended up calling Josh's pager.

"Josh?" she answered the phone when it rang.

"Donna?" he began. "Where are you? I thought you were coming in."

"You're in a meeting right now aren't you?"

"Yeah but I can..." he began to tell her. "Donna what's going on?"

She sighed and tried softly. "I don't want you to panic Josh..."

That set him off, "What's wrong?"

"I'm pretty sure it's nothing," she tried once more. "I called Doctor Swayed and he said to come in when I could."

"Why did you call the doctor?" Josh said in an elevated voice. He had been in the Roosevelt room and was now standing in the middle of the communications office.

Toby and Sam exited their offices when they heard Josh begin to rant and pace.

"Josh?" Sam asked meeting Toby's look of confusion.

"I'm pretty sure it's false labour pains," Donna told him on the other end of the line. If it wasn't one thing it was another. She knew it was too soon for false labour pains, but the doctor hadn't been very worried.

"False... That's not good is it," Josh shouted.

Donna wanted to laugh but she was barely in the mood. Uncomfortable and irritated she continued, "It's just Braxton Hicks, I just called because I wanted to be sure. The doctor said not to worry, but to come in and see him." She sighed softly. She wished she knew what was going on with her body. She didn't mind sharing it but all the issues that came along with it were starting to bother her. She hoped it was only Braxton Hicks, or something that could be explained away quickly. She didn't want to think about it being anything else. "If you could just maybe come and take me when you're done your meeting... or if you want to send Sydney. I have some things I want to talk over with her."

"Donna!"

"If it's that much trouble I'll just take a cab Josh," she told him coldly. She hated mood swings, especially when she knew she was having one.

Josh calmed himself down, knowing perfectly well that if he didn't explain himself she would very well hang up on him and take a cab. He knew she hated to bother him when he was working, unless it was about work or of... what she defined as... dire importance. Obviously this was important.

"Donna I'll be there in twenty minutes," Josh told her.

She really hadn't wanted him to stop working but she was too frustrated to argue anymore. "Alright then," she said sternly. "Bye." Then she hung up.

Toby and Sam stood in front of him. "Is something wrong?"

"Yeah," Josh told them. "I'm going to have to go. I don't know how long I'll be. I should be back."

"Aren't you in that meeting?" Sam asked, obviously knowing very well which meeting Josh was in. Five congressmen stared at them, looking a little dumbfounded and star struck.

"With who?" Toby asked.

"Ummm..." Josh muttered barely remembering what he was still doing there. "You know what I'll just tell Leo."

Both men stared at each other. Josh had been over reacting ever since Donna's first mishap. The fact that he had been an arrogant ass had only doubled the radar for reaction time. Still they couldn't help but smile and move on to their own work, at least until Leo told them otherwise.

Josh ran into Margaret's little office. "Can I see him?"

"Let me check," Margaret said getting up. "Can you see Josh?"

"Yeah, send him in," Leo told her.

Josh briskly waltzed into the room. "Leo I have to go."

"What are you talking about?" Leo said looking at some papers on his desk.

"Donna just called me." Leo looked up, it was first instinct to assume the worst, second to assume Josh was insane. "The doctor told her to get the hospital as soon as she could. She says it's false labour, Buxton Fricks, whatever that means. But see I'm in this meeting right now... and I don't know what to say... I know this job has sacrifices... but this seems a little different... and I know I shouldn't be debating this... but Leo I have to go."

"Send Sam to the meeting," Leo said after a pause. He looked back at his papers, not seeming very concerned about Josh's little rant.

Josh stared at him a little shocked. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, he seems to know more about it than you do," Leo told him. It wasn't exactly true. Josh had been just as attentive to his work as he had ever been. It almost amazed Leo how very good Josh was at what he did and yet how he could be totally ignorant at the same time. "Plus I've seen you when you're worried. Believe me I don't want that Josh Lyman working for me."

Josh was getting ready to sprint from the room. "Thanks Leo."

"Wait a second. Margaret!" Leo shouted. "If you want information you should go straight to the source."

Josh gave him a dumbfounded look. He watched Margaret open the door and succinctly glide into view.

"Yes?" she inquired with pen and paper ready.

"Donna's gone into false labour," he said worried but with an air of lightness. "Do you have any idea what that means exactly?"

"Yes," she said flatly. After a brief silence. "Oh you wanted me to tell you?"

"No Margaret," Leo yelled sarcastically. "We were just testing to your knowledge of the female reproductive system!"

There was an awkward silence that followed this out burst. Josh tried to back slowly towards a doorway. He wasn't sure if he was being mocked. Leo had been enjoying himself lately. Every time Josh had a Donna freak out Leo got this look on his face. Damn him for withholding knowledge for kicks.

"You're joking right?" Margaret finally said.

"Margaret!"

Josh was barely paying attention to what Margaret was saying. _She can't have the babies now. It's not safe. It's too soon. We don't even have names yet._ He felt his chest pound and felt himself starting to sweat.

He ran from Leo's office and by Sam's office. "Right Sam." Sam rose to look at him. "You're meeting with the people. Umm...I don't remember what it's about...but I'm pretty sure it's important...but then again I can't remember who the meetings with so... yeah... I have to go... Leo says you can take over."

Josh was back in his office before Sam had time to reply. He grabbed his keys and was on his way back home.

"Where's Josh?" one of the Congressmen asked.

"Oh he had a bit of a family emergency," Sam said as he took Josh's seat.

"Is everything alright?" the other one asked, acting falsely concerned.

Sam gave a slight smile. "No worse then usual, I'm sure."


	22. Chapter 22

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters.

Author's note: I'm posting this because someone wrote me and told me to write. I thought maybe no one was interested anymore. It's nice to know people are interested. That it why I have written this. It's very angsty I am sorry. But the next chapter will be up soon… and it won't be full of angst. It will be happier… And well yes… smile and dance!

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Josh arrived at his apartment more panicked then he had ever been in his life. He felt a rushing sensation of dread, like adrenaline pulsating through his heart leading to cardiac arrest. He ran up the stairs to his apartment, flying up the stairs like a twenty year old. He opened the door to his apartment ready to swoop Donna into his arms and carry her to the car.

"What took you so long?" Donna said throwing her purse at him as she made her way through the door. Being pregnant, six months pregnant with triplets had made Donna do things a little bit slower, with a sort of arched poster.

Josh tried to hold back a retort as he helped Donna to the elevator and into the car. "How are you? Are you okay? What's going on?" Josh asked when he finally got into the drivers seat.

Donna glared at him for a moment. "I don't know what's going on." She tried not to sound angry. "But I need to be calm." She stared at him with an arched eyebrow. "Can you do that?"

Josh stared at her for a moment. Then he started to nod. He helped Donna into the car. She didn't look like she was in a lot of pain. Usually when these things happened to women they were screaming or yelling or trying to kill their significant other, or at least that's what Josh thought usually happened. Donna seemed calm. She looked like she was concentrating. She held her belly with both hands. She was taking deep breaths. Was that right? Josh wondered. Deep breaths? Short breaths? Why couldn't he remember what that stupid lady had told him at those damned classes? If he hadn't seen the look in her eyes, the small glint of worry, Josh would have thought there was nothing wrong.

They reached the doctors office. It was quiet, there were a few patients sitting and waiting. Josh went straight the receptionist. "Where's the doctor? Why isn't he here? We called him? He said he'd be here… where is he?"

The receptionist smiled. "Which doctor are you looking for sir?"

"Dr… ummm…" Josh turned to look at Donna.

She walked awkwardly towards the front desk. "Dr. Swayed."

Josh looked at the receptionist and nodded vehemently. The receptionist clicked away on her computer, Josh became even more irritated. "Your Donna?" the receptionist asked Donna, almost completely ignoring Josh. Donna just nodded, biting down on her lip.

The receptionist smiled and got up. "Follow me please."

They followed the receptionist to a back room. She left a gown for Donna and left them there. Donna dressed and undressed, then sat down on the bed; Josh sat next to her. Alone again Josh stared at Donna. "How are you doing?"

Donna smiled. "I don't know anymore." She tried not to let him see the glint in her eyes. "Josh I'm scared."

Josh put his arm around her. "You know whatever's going on we'll be fine. We'll all be fine."

She grabbed the hand on her shoulder and held it tight. "I was wondering what you thought about Noah or Joan. I know it's cheesy, but their good names and we should incase…"

Josh smiled. "I love that. I was thinking about names… I think we should call them…" The doctor knocked on the door and came in. "Hello."

"Hello." They both chorused together. They looked at each other and giggled.

The doctor smiled at them and went looked over Donna's file on the computer. "Donna if you can lie down." He turned to look at them. "We're going to have a look around."

Josh got off the bed. Donna laid down still holding Josh's hand. The doctor said nothing trying his best not to get in their way. He breathed onto his stethoscope and placed it on her belly. He made a face as though he were listening very hard. "What kind of pain were you having Donna?"

She squeezed Josh's hand. "It's a sharp pain that comes and goes." She paused. The doctor lent into her belly. "Even if there was no pain… there's something wrong isn't there. It's not just false labour is it?" He moved the stethoscope around, but his face didn't change.

"Donna we're going to do and ultrasound." Seeing the look on their faces he tried to talk them back from the ledge. "I just want to get a good look at what's going on in there."

The doctor smiled and lifted the gown so Donna's belly was exposed. He reached over to the counter and got a tube. He squeezed some jelly on Donna's belly and started to look around. Josh listened to the familiar sound of hearts beating. Something was wrong. Josh looked at Donna. He saw it in her face; she heard it too. Something was off; something was missing. "What is it?" Josh hadn't realized how try his mouth was until he spoke.

The Doctor didn't say anything. He just kept looking, as though in desperation. "What's wrong?" Donna asked, almost calmly.

The Doctor sighed. "Donna, Josh. There's no easy way to tell you this."

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Josh left Donna at home yet again. Their routine was becoming something he almost looked forward to. Something that was reliable. He liked reliable now. No more chances. He couldn't take chances. Not with Donna.

He arrived at the White House and called her immediately. Calling her was something he did more often now. He made sure someone always did. He made sure someone was always there with her. He just wished she'd accept visitors.

He went to his morning meeting. "How's Donna?" C.J. and Sam asked instantly.

Josh smiled. "She's better." It was a small improvement, but it was something.

"Will you be ready for California?" Toby asked. He had became very business like these past few weeks. These past eight weeks.

Josh nodded. Donna hadn't let him get behind in his work. "We don't need the stress." She had told him.

Josh sat down on one of the couches. "I've got a clear head. Don't worry about it."

Toby just nodded, and looked away.

Leo came in from his office. "Did you see the polls?" Leo asked holding up a small pile of papers.

They all smiled. "They were okay," Toby remarked.

"Considering not that long ago we were looking down the barrel of a gun," Leo said, barely stopping himself from nodding towards Josh. "How's Donna?"

Josh smiled. "Her mom's been trying to get in touch. Donna still won't talk to her."

"She talked to Margaret the other day," Leo said waving towards his office. "Margaret said she sounded almost happy."

Josh almost jumped with surprise. "She talked to Margaret!" Josh looked like he was about to dance, except he was unable to lift himself from the couch. "That's wonderful. Amazing. I mean it's not… but she's… She talked to Margaret!"

Everyone stared at Josh. It had been a while since he had one of these outbursts of "happiness". "Maybe she'll be okay. I mean… I was never worried about her being a mother. After we lost…" he paused and stared off into the distance for a moment but he snapped out of it almost as quickly. "But she's been taking so much care. She's been so careful. She's been eating. She hasn't really been happy but she's been doing her best to look after…" he paused again… they still didn't have names.

They all gave knowing nods. All of them almost smiling with him.

"I'm going to look after these two Josh," Donna had told him. "I won't let anything happen to them."

Josh shook his head. "She feels so guilty." He stopped remembering where he was and who he was talking to. He hadn't talked this much about Donna since that fateful day at the doctor's office. Losing a child was a terrible thing. This was so much worse. Donna was in more pain than he could understand. He was in more pain than anyone would ever know. Josh shook his head again.

Toby looked at him. "I've been calling her every other day." They all stared at him now. His voice had been shy, almost ashamed. "She said not to say anything. I don't know why." Josh looked at him, Toby meet his eyes then looked away. "We don't say much. But she's sounding better…" There was a pause.

"Anybody else?" Josh asked.

The others shook their heads. Josh wasn't really that surprised. "Well," Josh said, feeling better than he had in eight weeks. He felt almost confident. "What's next?"


	23. Chapter 23

Disclaimer: I don't own them. If I did they would have made love sooner and it would have been… better.

Author's Note: I'm listening to Grease. Not sure you care. Anyway… please enjoy.

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Senior Staff had gone to California for the week. Meeting with different organizations, attending functions, basically work. Donna had been on bed rest for the past two months and two weeks. She was forced to stay home, unable to travel. Josh had only been torn away from her at the President's personal request. He had organized for their neighbor to check in on her every hour.

While discussing school reform, and tax refunds at a party with several Congressmen his cell rang. This wasn't an uncommon occurrence but ever since Donna was on bed rest the sound made his heart skip a beat.

"Sorry," he apologized. "Excuse me." He backed away and looked at the caller id. _Why's someone from my office calling now. It's like 4am in D.C. _"Sydney why the hell are you there at four in the morning?"

"Josh?"

"Donna?" he asked. "What's going on? Are you alright?" he began in a concerned tone. Suddenly his voice took a turn for the worst. "What! Donna the babies aren't due for two weeks."

A few heads turned to look at him. He didn't really notice.

"Donna," he began. "Okay. Stay Calm. Stay Calm."

"I am calm Josh," she told him, trying very hard not to laugh at him.

"Is there someone there who can drive you?" he asked her his voice flying. He walked outside onto the balcony, so not to call any more attention to himself. "Donna you are not driving yourself to the hospital!" He sounded almost sarcastic but he was dead serious.

She softly laughed but was cut short as a contraction occurred. "Josh there's no one here. I'll just call a cab."

"Donna!" he screamed. He walked into the party and began searching for anyone who might be able to assist him. "What were you doing at work anyway? You're on bed rest!"

"Josh this really isn't a time to lecture me," she told him with a flirting air. "I'm going to have to hang up soon Josh."

"Donna don't you dare!"

"Josh I wouldn't mind actually being at the hospital when I have the babies."

"If you hang up on me I'll..." he stopped short.

She smiled to herself. "So now you're going to threaten me, the mother of your children while I'm is giving birth to them?"

He paused. "Donna. Just don't go anywhere." His voice was heard by nearly everyone. Suddenly his friends were crowding around him.

"Josh why are you yelling?" C.J. asked.

He pointed to the phone. "No Donna. Just wait a few minutes."

"Josh," Sam addressed him. "What's going on? Is something wrong?"

"Find Leo," Josh mouthed before beginning again. "Donna stay there."

"Josh I'm pretty sure staying here will cause more problems than taking a cab," Donna began. "I have to get home and get my bag."

Josh became more panicked as she spoke with ease. "You don't have time to go home."

"Josh," she sighed. "I'm almost positive I know more about this than you do." She wasn't worried. She was calm. She figured there was enough time to do the things she had to.

She hadn't expected Josh to be so panicked. Then again she hadn't expected him to be in California.

"How did you get there?" Josh asked her. "You didn't drive did you?"

She laughed again. Then she began to rant calmly, "Joey Lucas called to get the latest info on ENP, and Laura Stetellmen would be meeting with you in a few days, and I was so bored and so sore... and Dr. Swayed was considering moving up the due date... because…" she paused. She never talked about their third child. "He recommended that I leave my bed if I felt discomfort... and believe me I wasn't trying to have the babies before you got back... and no I didn't drive myself... I got Freddy Woods to drive me here."

"Freddy Woods!" Josh shouted. "He's like fifteen."

"Josh he's twenty-one," Donna said slowly.

"He lives with his parents," Josh told her in a lessened state of panic.

Suddenly he heard her breath short out, continuing in sharp intervals. Then through her rhythmic pants she mumbled, "Josh?"

"Yeah?"

"Please just let me take a cab back to the house," she pleaded. "I really don't want to have the baby at my desk." She laughed slowly.

The party carried on around him. His voice calming, and C.J. standing beside him, lightly waving to the crowds while paying half-attention to Josh's conversation.

The President appeared through the crowd, followed by Sam, Toby, and Leo. "Josh what's going on? We could hear you yelling from the pool."

"Donna here," Josh took the phone from his ear and began to hand it to the President. "Her water broke. She's gone into labour. She wants to take a _cab_ back to the house and _then_ go the hospital."

The President first taken a back when Josh slid the phone into his hand now gave a light laugh.

"Hello Donna," he began.

"Sir I..." she tried to answer.

"You know Donna I'm not a doctor but I am a father," he began to tell her. "I don't think taking a cab to the hospital is the best idea."

"Sir I..."

"Now Donna," he began. "I'm going to get someone to drive you to the hospital. And I'll get someone to go by your house and pick up your things."

"Sir you really shouldn't do that," Donna told him. "I'm not exactly sure that will look too good. I don't want to take advantage of my position."

The President only chuckled. "Donna, do it as favor."

"Sir?"

"I think it would calm Josh down a little," he began looking at the man who was staring at him with panicked eyes, waiting to hear if she was going to be taken to the hospital in an _actual_ vehicle. "He's been acting a little loud and neurotic."

"I'm sorry sir," she apologized for Josh. "But that doesn't exactly sound like something all that new."

The President laughed. "I should probably return the phone to him," he said when he noticed Josh's teary bambi eyes staring him down. "Just wait there someone will come and get you."

"Thank you sir," she said calmly.

"Donna?" Josh's voice chimed again. "Are you alright? Is everything okay?" C.J., Sam, and Toby lead him outside, while Charlie organized Donna's ride.

Needless to say all three thought that Josh's tone and attitude were hilarious. They stayed close to him; sure he would fly the coup if he had the chance. Between laughter and excitement they took turns stopping him from running back to D.C.

"Josh calm down," she said through laughter, she was cut short by another contraction.

"Donna!" Josh cried when he heard her breath fall short and her laughter cut out.

"I'm still here," she said slowly. There was suddenly an agent at the door of the bullpen. "Josh I have to go now."

"What!" Josh began. "Where's your cell?"

"I left it at home," she told him shortly.

"Donna..." he began to whine.

"Josh will you please let me get going," she told him.

"Right," Josh said. "Baby. Hospital. Good. Go."

Donna laughed. "Good by daddy."

Josh smiled at her words. "I love you," he managed.

She hung up the phone and was on her way.

Josh stood slowly removing the phone from his ear. All three of his friends were looking at him hanging on his words.

"Josh?" Toby began.

"She hung up," he told them. He looked dazed, and stood in silence for a moment staring into space. "I have to get there." Josh said and began to run towards the street.

"Josh!" they all shouted, pulling him back.

He looked at them blankly. "She... I have to be there... I... two weeks," he mumbled.

They all began to laugh.

"You're cute when you're panicked," C.J. told him through laughter.

Josh smiled and slowly rose. "I... I'm going to go walk."

"Okay," Sam told him, all three letting him pass.

Josh began to walk to the street way. Barely being able to contain the feelings he was experiencing. He began to run, jumping and waving his arms in the air. He was shouting, "Yes... I... two... we... I...Yes!..." his friends watched him laughing but careful made sure he didn't disappear.

"Where is he?" Leo asked joining them.

Toby pointed towards the crazed Josh who had taken to running up, and down the sidewalk, shouting mainly incomprehensible babble. They all shared a smile, and quiet laughter. Josh came back over seeing Leo's approach.

"I have to get there, Leo," Josh told him with a daft air of panic and joy. "She... there's no way... I have to get there."

"Josh," Leo began. "There's no way you'll get there on time. Just..."

"No," Josh said determined. "I have to go."

"Josh," Leo tried to start again.

"Donna... she... I should be there," he interrupted. "I have to leave."

He began to walk backwards, as if he felt threatened by those standing around him. He didn't even notice the President join them, or hear Charlie give him "Congrats!".

Suddenly his eyes turned. His vision was blurred not only by the drink he had had earlier but more by the adrenaline rushing through him.

"Mr. President?" he asked, as though he was unsure whom he was addressing.

"Yes?" came the skeptical reply.

"I have to go," Josh told him. "I have to get back to D.C. The babies are two weeks early. That can't be good, can it? I have to go."

"Josh?" addressed the President to the fast pacing man before him.

"Yes sir?" Josh asked while pacing aimlessly trying to configure a plan to arrive in time to see Donna.

"I put a call through."

"Yes sir," Josh told him not really paying attention.

"The First Lady is heading to the hospital with Donna," the President said trying to relieve some of Josh's anxiety. "She's being looked after Josh. She's in the car now, and someone will meet her there with her things. So..."

"Thank you sir," Josh said jumping up and hugging the President in what might have seemed like an inappropriate embrace had Josh not already been acting deranged.

Then again, Josh thought afterward. Was there ever a good moment to spontaneously jump the President with a carnal embrace?

Josh backed off and heard the President give a slight huff only to be followed by the laughter of all his colleagues.

"You'll have to excuse Josh," Toby interjected. "He's having a moment of insanity."

"I had three girls myself," the President remarked with a smile. "I know the feeling."

Josh smiled, "Sorry sir." He began to pace once again. "Is there anyway to get Donna on a phone?"

They all stared at him.

"I'm sure that can be worked out," Leo remarked with a smile. "Do you want to come have a drink Josh?"

Josh stared at him blankly. "I can't have a drink. My fiancée is having my baby," he began to tell them all loudly. "I have to get back to D.C."

"Whoa Josh slow down," C.J. began.

"Fiancée?" Toby asked

"Yeah," Josh said then tilted his head. His face changed dramatically. "I didn't tell you guys that did I?"

"No," Sam informed. "You forgot that."

Josh looked at them filled with guilt. "Donna's gonna kill me."

"Josh!" C.J. yelled bringing him back to the current situation.

"Yeah?"

"When exactly were you going to tell us?"

"Ummmm..." Josh trailed. "We hadn't really decided... eventually…. I'm pretty sure."

"You think!"

They all looked at him, mouths gaping.

Josh smiled not exactly sure what to say. "I guess so," Josh told them as he began to pace once again. "I..."

His phone rang. He stared at in his hand for a moment before answering it.

"Yeah?" he answered. "Donna where are you?"

They all left him then; Toby giving him a wave of encouragement; Leo and Sam patting him on the back before leaving; and C.J. giving him a kiss on the check.

"Good Luck," the President yelled back to him.

"Is everything alright?" Josh asked as they left him. He waved aimlessly to the President giving all his attention to the woman on the other line. "Whose with you? You're where? ... They're making you wait? ... Donna ... hey no breath... one... two..."


	24. Chapter 24

Discalimer: I own them not. I had a dream where I was in a boxing match for them… but alas… dreams like that rarely come true… let alone me having the ability to win a boxing match.

Author's note: We can almost see the end of the tunnel. Donna is having the babies… she pretty much back to normal… O what a wonderful feeling…

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"Dr. Bartlet, with all due respect shut up!" Donna shouted in the middle a strong contraction.

Abbey Bartlet was taken aback but knew from experience how Donna must feel.

"I'm sorry Donna," she began to reply. "I know what you're going through."

"No you don't!" Donna replied drastically quiet but extremely vicious. "I don't think you know what it's like to have three babies at once, to have the father panicking on the other side of the country, and to top it off a slew of reporters waiting in the lobby."

She was a woman crazed with pain, rage and motherhood. Logic was momentary, and came in short intervals.

Suddenly Donna regained herself. "I'm sorry M'am. I just... I expected this to be different... I didn't mean to..."

"It's alright Donna," Abbey said giving her some crushed ice.

Donna felt like crying, she also felt like hitting someone. She wasn't sure which she would do first. She was pretty sure hitting the First Lady was out of the question. "Where the _hell_ is Josh?"

She knew where he was and it was at least the twelfth time she had asked the question. She had been able to talk to him on the phone all the way to the hospital but someone had taken the phone from her and she had never gotten it back.

Abbey had been trying to get Josh back on the phone for an hour. Being the First Lady she wasn't accustomed to waiting.

The phone line never came. The doctor came into the room.

"So who's ready to have a baby?"

Donna looked horrifically at him. "I don't think I am."

"Well you'll be having two."

Donna's eyes glazed over. "No"

"Yes," the doctor told her. "And pretty soon."

Donna grabbed the First Lady's arm. "We've only been here for fifteen minutes." The First Lady didn't know what to say. She was about to attempt a remark of doctoral comfort when Donna began to panic. "I can't have the babies now."

"Donna honey."

"I can't do this," she said almost ready to cry. "There's no way I can have a baby. I can't have three babies. No, no...no no no."

"Donna..." Abbey began.

"No." Donna told her.

"Donna," she said now with more authority. "You are going to have these babies. Then Josh is going to come and see you and see them. Then you can go home and get married or whatever you need to do."

"Married. See I should do that before I have babies," Donna blurted. "I can't have the babies now. I'm not supposed to have the babies for another two weeks." She began to cry. "I can't do this. I can't. I just can't." Her eyes were filled with water and she was loudly trying to get her point across through sniffles and a tightened throat.

"Donna you have to push now," came the urgent words of the doctor.

"I can't do this," she cried.

The First Lady grabbed Donna's hand. "Donna!"

Donna looked at her and stopped crying.

"Push!"

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Josh ran into the room, breathing heavy enough to have run all the way from California. It took him a moment to realize that he had gone to the wrong room. Three women were lying in beds with their husbands by their sides.

"Uh sorry," Josh muttered and went back through the door. He ran back to the nurse's station. "I'm looking for Donnatella Moss," he addressed one of the nurses nervously but in a definite and calm tone.

"Josh!" a familiar voice called from behind him.

He turned and met the First Lady's open arms. She let him embrace her for a few seconds before asking in a pleading tone. "Where's Donna?"

"She's resting," she answered him.

Josh smiled, and began to walk with her towards Donna's room. "How's she doing?"

"Umm…" she wasn't sure how to describe it. "She's been a bit…"

"What!" Josh asked panicking again. "She's okay right? The babies are fine?"

"Yes, yes," she answered quickly. "Donna's just been a little…"

"A little what?" Josh pressed for an answer.

Abbey tilted her head searching for the right words. "She's been acting a little crazy." It was a kind understatement.

"That's nothing new," Josh remarked with a smile. "You actually had me worried for a moment."

The First Lady just sighed. She turned and opened a door for Josh. Donna was sitting in bed with two little babies surrounding her.

She was talking with them.

"How are you guys feeling?" she asked them. "You're daddy should be here soon. He's nice… you'll like him. He can be a little annoying, but I'll teach you how to deal with him." She patted them on their heads. "You're so tiny."

"Donna?" Josh said entering the room. He was star struck. Never had she looked so beautiful. Surrounding with her children, their children. Smiling, and glowing he knew he'd never be able to forget how much she meant to him.

She looked up at him. She nearly jumped out of the bed. "Josh!"

He smiled and came to her side. He kissed her forehead. She held onto him tight, with the weak grip of a woman who had just given birth to three infants. She felt relief wash over her. One of those births had been extra painful, but somehow Donna was managing to block that feeling. Josh was here; she was a mother, nothing could go wrong.

The First Lady smiled and backed out of the room. True happiness was a keen gift, something one rarely gets to witness. She was glad she just had.

"Who do we have here?' Josh asked looking at his babies. They were lying down in front of her, sleeping.

"Josh Lyman," Donna said. "Meet your children."

"A boy and a girl?" Josh asked looking at their hats.

She nodded. "Aren't they perfect?"

He sat down on the bed beside her. "That they are."

Donna sat up a little straighter. She looked about the room. "We had another little boy." She looked nervous suddenly. "Where did they take him?"

Josh stared at her for a moment not sure if she was joking or if she had actually flipped her lid. Either way it wasn't good. "Donna are you…"

"So," Donna began stopping Josh from asking whatever he wanted to know. "I didn't name them officially but I was thinking how about Thor, Titus and Xena?"

"What kind of drugs do they have you on?" Josh asked with a smile.

She hit his arm.

"Ow."

She laughed. "Shh you'll wake them."

"I was thinking of some names on the plane," Josh said. He reached into his breast pocket and removed a napkin. The once white napkin could now be described as totally black and blue. Josh had assaulted it with pens. He handed it to Donna.

"Josh," she said looking at it with curiosity.

"I had to do something to stop from going crazy," he told her honestly.

She looked at him. "I talked to you on the phone you'd already reached crazy."

"Hey," Josh protested. "The rumors around here have it that you're not completely with it."

She looked away feeling a little guilty. "Well…"

"What did you do?" Josh asked amused. "You weren't throwing things at the nurses, were you?"

She didn't look at him. She bent over her babies rubbing their foreheads. "See you have to take into account that I had just gone through labour…. I wasn't… I haven't been in the right state of mind to deal with…"

"People," Josh finished for her.

"I was yelling at the First Lady," she began.

"You yelled at the First Lady!" Josh said surprised but obviously amused.

"That's not all," she said turning to look at him. "See I wanted to wait until you were here… I was hysterical… I think I swore at the doctor a few times… But I pushed… I remember pushing… and then some not pushing… and pain… and… See babies..."

She pointed to the two children on the bed averting her eyesight back to them. "And see the thing is…"

There was a pause that only troubled Josh more.

"The thing is?" he asked.

"Well when I had the babies…. They wanted to take them somewhere…. And well…"

"You became a crazed mother?" Josh asked realizing she had probably thrown something at the nurses.

She just shrugged. She finally felt tired. She felt the need to let go. Her babies were safe now. They're daddy was here. She could sleep. She could rest. Everything was okay.

She grabbed Josh's shirt. "I'm glad you're here."

He kissed the top of her head and wrapped his arms around her. "I'm not going anywhere."


	25. Chapter 25

Disclaimer: I own them not. But my fight goes on… I shall win them one day… YOU'LL SEE… YOU'LL ALL SEE….. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Author's note: I update.

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About thirty minutes after he arrived, Josh emerged from the room. The First Lady was sitting outside waiting.

"Josh?" her voice sounded.

"She's asleep," he said pointing over his shoulder to the room.

"Thank god," she remarked.

Josh smiled. "Did the nurses want to look at the babies or can they…?"

"She hasn't let anyone near them," Abbey told him.

"How did they get the other…" Josh began to ask.

"They had to wait until she dosed off for a while." Abbey muttered something under her breath. "They were quick but not quick enough." Abbey pointed to a nurse walking down the hall. She had a bandage on her head. "She gave that poor girl four stitches."

"How?" Josh said more amused than shocked.

"She threw a lamp." Abbey shook her head. "If you'd noticed most of the things in Donna's room have either been removed or pushed to the other side."

Josh shook his head. So Motherhood had made Donna crazy…er. He wasn't sure what he thought of that yet. "Can I see him?" Josh asked, meaning the other baby.

Abbey gently put a hand on his shoulder. "Not quite yet. Enjoy your other two for the moment."

"Aren't they perfect?" Josh asked her.

Abbey smiled and nodded. "Yes they are."

"Do you want to…" he paused, only for a moment to think. "Do you want to hold them?"

"I'd love to," Abbey answered him.

They backed into the room. The two babies were in little baby trolleys. Their mother was sleeping in the bed beside them.

"Are you sure she's asleep?" Abbey whispered almost in fear.

Josh nodded.

Josh picked up his little boy and handed him to the First Lady. She turned to mush. She was making faces and "owing" and "awing".

Josh then picked up his little.

"Holding one at a time isn't so hard," Josh told her. "But I haven't tried two yet."

Abbey smiled. "That's why they have two parents."

Josh nodded. There was a silence in the air. One that was very calming compared to the hectic day he'd had.

"Do they have names?"

Josh just shook his head. "Donna wanted Thor, Titus and Xena, but I talked her down."

Abbey smiled and rocked the baby back and forth. "They're beautiful."

Suddenly Josh's little girl let out a soft whimper. "Shhh..." Josh whispered softly, but it was too late.

Donna woke up. She looked around the room. "What are you doing!" she yelled. "Put them down."

"Donna will you calm down," Josh protested.

"I… What are you doing?"

He put the baby down and looked at the First Lady. He rolled his eyes, as to let her know everything was already but still crazy. Josh joined Donna on the bed.

"Donnatella Moss," he mumbled.

She wasn't looking at him. She was leaning over looking at her babies. "Where's Titus?"

Josh grabbed her chin and forced her to look in his eyes. "Donna will you please calm down."

She let out a deep breath. "There my babies."

He nodded. "They will be looked after."

"But I…"

"You need to sleep," he answered before she could finish.

She didn't want to protest. "Fine just make sure the First Lady doesn't try to steal them."

Josh tried not to flinch at her remark. "Why would she steal them?"

"She's been trying all day," she told him seriously. "I don't trust her."

Josh didn't know what to say. "Go to sleep."

She lent back down on the bed and closed her eyes. Moments later her breath was shallow.

"Okay," Josh said looking at the First Lady cautiously hidden behind him. She looked scared. "We have got to get these babies out of here," he whispered to her urgently.

If the babies stayed in the room Donna wouldn't sleep, or eat, or return to normality. For the safety of everyone in the hospital he thought it was best that the children be removed for the time being.

Abbey put the baby down with the others. "I'll go find someone," she whispered.

Josh, who was still sitting on the edge of the bed with Donna, turned so he could see Donna's face. He heard the door close behind him.

Donna looked tired. His angel was resting. He was happy to know she had fought through pain to be loving, however neurotically. He was sitting with his family. And suddenly it hit him.

What great new things he had yet to discover? He had a family. His life was so clearly defined, and yet so clearly unexplored. He faced the unpredictable, and the terrifying all at once. He was going to face the life, and love. Everyday he spent next to her made him think he could never feel this happy again.

"Donnatella Moss," he whispered, kissing her cheek. "I love every crazy bit of you."


	26. Chapter 26

Disclaimer: I own them not. But if they are for sale please contact me.

Author's note: Sorry it took so long. Enjoy.

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There are some things in life that are inevitably harder than you think they will be. The ability to imagine grief is not something one wants to strive for. Josh didn't know why he wanted to see his third child. He just knew he needed. Josh had tried his best to prepare himself. He was not prepared at all.

When he returned to Donna's room he felt like he was together. He had cried, and he was mourning but he felt together enough to see Donna.

He saw her in bed smiling and watching her two beautiful angels. He walked over to her and kissed her on the forehead. He sat down next to her, and he fell apart.

"Josh?" Donna said, her voice sounding for the first time grounded and ordinary. She stared at him her eyes not glazed over with that look of terror and misunderstanding. "Josh what's wrong?"

He didn't say anything. He couldn't. He couldn't even move from his chair. So Donna got up from her bed and took a few gentle steps towards him. "Josh?" she said again unsure exactly what to do. She took a hand and gave his hair a soft stroke. "Shhh… It's okay. We're here now. We made it."

She gently placed herself on his lap and wrapped her arms around him neck. "Shhh… I know the pain. Please don't be alone Josh."

Josh put his head on her shoulder and cried. She held him tight but didn't say anything. And for a while that was enough. Then Josh lifted his head and just stared at her. He saw it then. She was grieving too. But it was so hard to be so sad and yet so happy.

"Talk to me," she said.

He smiled and he softly lifted her off his lap and onto the bed. He laid down next to her and held her close.

"I just…" he was trying to find words that he didn't have. "What would his life have been like? Would he have been strong and adventurous? Would he have been funny?"

"Would he have had your hair?"

They both gave soft laughs.

"I just… I just wonder that's all." Josh sighed. He felt like he was being torn in two. There were so many mixed feelings. He felt sad. He felt happy and just happy. He felt guilty for feeling happy. He didn't know what to feel.

"Do you remember my friend Georgie?" Donna asked suddenly.

Josh shook his head into the pillow.

"Well she's been a mother for eight years now," Donna said. "Of course she's much older than me," she added sarcastically. "She's one of the happiest and craziest people I know."

"Crazy?" Josh mumbled. "Yes you've certainly picked that up."

Donna smiled and hit him softly. "I want that Josh." She stared straight at him. "I know you're sad, and I'm sad but we should be crazy happy people too. Don't you think we deserve that?"

Josh just smiled. Right now he wasn't sure he could answer that. He lifted himself up from the bed. "We need some names."

Donna laughed. "Thor, Titus and Xena not your cup of tea?"

"Were you on something when you thought those up?"

Donna just shrugged. Josh got up from the bed and walked over to the babies. Donna sat up and watched him.

"Noah Tobias Lyman and Joan Abigail Lyman." Donna said confidently.

"Abigail?" Josh asked with a smile.

"While she did help me deliver them," Donna said cautiously. "Even if she tried to steal them."

Josh looked at his children and picked them up. "What do you think guys?" Noah drooled and Joan smiled. Josh laughed. "I thought they were perfect names too."


End file.
